


Lovely

by KarkatVantabulous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Confused John, Death, Drama & Romance, F/F, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Jealousy, Kanaya Maryam/Karkat Vantas Moirallegiance, Karkat Swearing, M/M, Meteorstuck, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pansexual Character, Pansexual John, Quadrant Confusion, Red Romance, Rose and Kanaya act like moms, Sadstuck, Sexuality, Sexuality Crisis, Vriska Serket/Terezi Pyrope- moirails, mentioned Terezi Pyrope/Karkat Vantas - Freeform, very very very brief mention of John Egbert/Vriska Serket
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:58:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 21,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6164930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarkatVantabulous/pseuds/KarkatVantabulous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John stays on the meteor instead of Dave, and it is boring. Everyone except the one person he wants to talk to talks to him. He just needs some way to get the nubby-horned troll he desires to talk to him, and when he does get that he wonders if maybe he wants more than to just talk to Karkat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Hey Karkat!" John exclaimed once he finally found the cancer troll after searching for him for nearly an hour. It turns out, Karkat hadn't left the roof of the meteor. He was still staring up at the sky, at the spot where he saw the last two _sane_ members of his race shove this giant rock into endless space. Karkat flinched upon hearing the human's happy voice and absolutely refused to acknowledge his existence. "Is something wrong?" John asked, making Karkat grumble. Pretending John didn't exist would be hard if John kept talking.

"No, nothing's wrong." Karkat replied curtly as he kept his gaze up at the sky in front of him. The Heir of Breath frowned but quickly shook it off. This was just Karkat being Karkat, right? He slowly floated over to the troll and stayed afloat besides him, looking up at the sky as well.

"What're we looking at?" John asked. Karkat sighed in frustration and in turned around on his heel and stomped to the transportalizer, disappearing without another word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karkat had spent the last three hours in his room on his husktop, trying to find _some_ way he could possibly regain communication with the two trolls exploring space. So far no such luck. He cursed himself and slammed his fists down on the keyboard, if Sollux were here he would've gotten this done in half the time and possibly would've created some sort of super code that would allow communication with aliens of other galaxies.

A knock on his door pulled Karkat out of his thoughts. He stood up and walked over to the door, pressing a button on the side panel and making the door slide open. Kanaya was standing there, tall and proud. Seeing her made Karkat relax slightly, at least it wasn't anyone else.

"Hello Karkat." The Jade blood smiled warmly and walked into Karkat's respiteblock. She had changed her clothes, thankfully, from her previous blood covered ensemble. Karkat didn't know how much longer he'd be able to look at that without vomiting.

"Hey Kanaya." The door slid shut behind the new rainbow drinker and Karkat plopped back down on his office chair. "May I ask what has brought me the immense amount of pleasure of having you enter my shitty-ass respiteblock?"

"Can a friend not want to visit her friend every once in awhile?" Well now Karkat felt bad, he had just gone and assumed Kanaya wanted something. It didn't immediately occur to him that she may just have wanted to talk to him. "Especially since," oh boy. Here it comes. Karkat just _knew_ there was some specific reason she came. "Your previous caliginous, flushed, and pale crushes are on this very meteor. I assumed it might be a bit...difficult for you." Karkat rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"Fuck off, I don't need this bullshit right now okay? Yeah so Terezi and I didn't work out, no big fucking deal. And yeah I was rejected but John over some asinine human cultural block or whatever the hell it was, who gives a flying fuck? And so what if Gamzee is... _that_ now. Everything is _fine_. _I'm_ fine. Everyone is _fine_."

"Karkat, someone doesn't say 'fine' that many times without meaning that they aren't fine." Kanaya said while patting her friends knee.

"I can use the word fine as many damn times as I please and it will mean absolutely nothing." The cancer troll huffed and crossed his arms, refusing to look at his friend.

"Karkat, I'm just saying it must be a bit difficult for you to have so many rejections in one area. Even more difficult that you will have to spend the next sweep in close quarters with them all the time. I just want you to know that if you ever feel overwhelmed with all of this, come talk to me. My door is always open." Kanaya smiled and leaned over, pressing a small kiss to Karkat's cheek before standing up and exiting the respiteblock, leaving Karkat alone.

For a good long minute, Karkat just sat there thinking. Kanaya did have a point. Spending one long sweep with three different quadrant crushes and constantly seeing them. He supposed with Gamzee it wouldn't be so bad. Vriska had Gamzee under her mind control and locked him up in a cheap refrigerator. Terezi and John though...John seemed intent on becoming Karkat's friend where as Terezi seemed intent on keeping as little communication between them possible.

Karkat sighed and tried to focus on the husktop in front of him. Things would be so much easier if Karkat just didn't fall for people so easily.


	2. Chapter 2

"But Rose!" John whined floating upside down in the air besides his friend. "I don't want to wait! I've gotten really impatient and I just, I can't wait!" John had been practically waiting outside the door of a certain grumpy troll for days to get a chance to talk to him some more. The only problem was that Karkat hardly ever left his room and when he did, he was never in a chatty mood. After about a week of this, he was beginning to lose his patience.

"You have to wait John." The Seer replied, sipping on her tea. "This isn't exactly the easiest transition for him, you have to understand that much." The Heir of Breath raised an eyebrow and moved so he was floating in a sitting position.

"How am I not understanding this?" John questioned. "I mean, I get I'm probably the last person he wants to talk to because of that whole hate-love ordeal but I'm sure he's gotten over it by now! Right?" Rose sighed and crossed her arms, shooting her friend a look of utter disbelief.

"John, you honestly believe him not wanting to step out of his shell is a result of his previous caliginous crush on you?" John nodded sheepishly, now starting to have second thoughts on this mindset. "Well it isn't about you. Incase you don't remember he led his group of friends through the game and unlike us, they weren't as lucky to have all of their friends survive. From what Kanaya has told me he feels responsible for all the death that happened." The Heir lowered his head, feeling pretty guilty that he only assumed Karkat was thinking of his previous rejection. "Did you stop to think that it was possible he has been feeling a bit detached from the rest of us because he's carrying a massive weight on his shoulders? I know if I were to find out that my friends were all killed in a result of another murderous rampage I'd feel a bit guilty for not being there to stop it." The Seer took another sip of her drink before standing up.

"To add onto that, Karkat now has three people who have rejected him living in close quarters with him. He's probably holed up in his room because Vriska won't let him forget that three people don't want him in any quadrant. So I suppose in a way you might've been right, he might also be hung up on you and the way you so, ahem, _politely_ rejected him way back when." With that the Lalonde exited the room, her cup of tea in hand, and left John to ponder his whole approach to becoming friends with Karkat.

John just kind of floated there for a good while, too lost in thought to even notice Vriska sashay inside the kitchen he was in until she tugged his long hood. John blinked, taking a moment to realize who it was before smiling and waving. "Hey Vriska, didn't notice you there."

"No shit Egbert." The cerulean troll commented as she began pressing buttons on the alchemizer. "What's got you soooooooo wrapped up that you didn't notice me arrive?" She grabbed a mug from the cabinet and held it underneath a little tap connected to the alchemizer, hot coffee pouring out a second later. John bit his lip, contemplating telling Vriska. It couldn't be that bad if he told her, right?

"Just...thinking about Karkat. He doesn't really want to talk to me and I dunno...I kind of have this...crazy idea that maybe he isn't over his hate crush on me?" That statement was more of a question. A question John was hoping Vriska would answer with _'He's definitely over you!'_ Instead Vriska just laughed and replied cheerfully. 

"Of course he isn't John!"

"Wh...What?"

"Listen John, Karkat won't get over you for a loooooooong time. He's an emotional little troll and lets his feelings run everything he does! He still hasn't gotten over Terezi and I can assure you he won't get over the crazy clown murderer! So why should you be any different! Especially since you were apparently the "first" person he's ever really hated." The Thief of Light brought her mug of coffee up to her lips and took a sip while walking out. "You can bet your entire ass that Karkat still probably won't be over you once we reach the end of this meteor ride!" She called out before turning a corner and disappearing from John's sight. John just stayed there.

John didn't think Karkat would be that torn up over the rejection. He didn't think he was _that_ special to Karkat. Then again, like Rose said, he was dealing with other things. Maybe John wasn't the big reason as to why Karkat didn't want to come out. Maybe he really was mourning for the loss of his friends. Maybe John was just being overly egotistical. Maybe Karkat was more torn up about Terezi and Gamzee than he was over John. Maybe Karkat wasn't dealing with anything and John was just overthinking things!

The Heir groaned quietly and rubbed his temples. He had to stop thinking about Karkat and what if this or what if that. John decided on just going up to the roof of the meteor, at least there he would be rid of any and all things related to Karkat. So he floated down to the ground and began walking up the many stairs and stepping on transportalizers, making his way up. Yes he could've flown but walking made it so he could have some more time to think about all this mess. A few minutes later and John stepped on the final transportalizer which instantly zapped him to the very roof of the rock they were on.

John honestly expected to be alone. Not many people ventured up to the roof of the meteor for fear of accidentally getting ripped off and flung into Paradox Space. They were traveling at light speed through space for crying out loud. However, even with the fear of getting flung into space, John still saw a small troll sitting cross legged on the ground just staring up at the sky above him. Cautiously, the blue eyed boy walked over to the troll and sat down besides him. Karkat didn't seem to notice, and if he did notice he didn't seem to mind.

John quietly sat there besides Karkat, staring up at the sky as well. He wanted to talk but he decided against it for fear that if he opened his mouth the troll would just up and walk away. At least like this he was allowed to be somewhat close to his friend. Baby steps.

The two sat there for a good while, silently staring up at the sky. John had nearly broken the silence on several occasions but he held back. Self control was important, especially here. Finally, Karkat was the one to break the long silence they had been sitting in. Without breaking his gaze at the stars above him, Karkat spoke to the Heir besides him.

"Do you think they miss me?"


	3. Chapter 3

"What?" John was confused to say at the least. The first thing Karkat says to him that _isn't_ a curse word and it's that. John has no clue what he's saying.

"Do you think they miss me?" Karkat repeated. John blinked then snapped his fingers in realization.

"Yeah!- I mean, they have to right? They're your friends! I'm pretty sure they miss you." John glanced over at Karkat only to see the troll still staring up at the sky. "Do you...miss them?"

"Of course I fucking miss them, what kind of dumbass question is that?" John shrugged and Karkat sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I mean, yeah I miss them. Sort of. Yes. I miss them. Kind of. Fuck..." He sighed again. "I miss them yeah, I'll miss talking to them all the fucking time and shit. I will miss that. But...some fucked up part of my thinkpan is sort of...happy that they're dead?" John raised an eyebrow.

"Why would you be glad that your best friends are dead? I know I probably wouldn't be glad if Jade, Dave, or Rose died. I'd be heartbroken...and I'd...I'd probably blame myself for it." John was probably going to strike a nerve with that little comment but he just wanted Karkat to know he was there for him. The cancer troll, however, just scoffed.

"If you're trying to find some narcissistic way to tell me you care or some bullshit like that, just save it. Yeah I blame myself for their deaths and shit but I don't need you patronising me." John raised his hands defensively.

"I was only trying to make you feel better!" The Knight of Blood rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Anyway, as I was saying I'm sort of glad they're dead because at least now...they won't have to worry about...all of this." Karkat motioned to the area around him. "All of this bullfuckery. They won't have to worry about which asshole will go on a killing spree next or which invincible boss we'll have to fight soon or all of that shit." Karkat sighed and glanced at John who was staring at him. "I'm just...I'm happy they get to take shit slow after living a life filled with shit cake after shit cake being flung at them y'know?" John nodded, somewhat understanding what Karkat meant.

"Yeah. I know. But like...you aren't...torn up about their deaths are you?"

"Of course I fucking am. They're my friends John. My best friends. I mean, I let two of them die right in front of me and sent another to their death and I did _nothing_ to stop a raging, genocidal fish from doing any more harm even though I _knew_ I could stop it..." He sighed. "Yeah I'm torn up about it, but shit happens. And me having to deal with all their bloody deaths is one of the things that has to happen." The cancer troll stood up and brushed the dust off his pants, John stood up as well. "I'm going back to my respiteblock." With that, Karkat spun around on his heel and began walking away.

Oh _hell_ no. John wasn't going to let Karkat just walk away from him after spilling his guts. John bit his lip and tried to think of something to say, anything really. He had nothing. Karkat was getting closer to the transportalizer he had to do something!

"Wait!" The God of Breath flew up and in front of Karkat, stopping him in his tracks. The troll raised an eyebrow but waited. "We need to, uh, crap..." John's mind was racing, he had to come up with something before Karkat got suspicious. "I-I was wondering..." John began. "Why do you stay in your room all the time?" That was horrible. Beyond horrible. But it was the first thing John thought of, so at least it was something. Karkat blinked and thought for a moment before answering.

"Because I'm used to being alone. I mean, I sort of lived alone. It was just me and Crabdad all the fucking time and if I went outside I'd probably get killed on my lawn ring. What kind of dumbass question is that?" John shrugged.

"You were leaving...and I didn't want you to so I said the first thing that popped into my head!" Karkat rolled his eyes before pushing past the god in front of him.

"Just when I figured you couldn't get stupider, you surprise me. Con-fucking-grats John Fuckbert, you are now stupider than I first thought you were." The Knight of Blood grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest before quickly walking onto the platform that zapped him down to the computer lab. Not even a minute passed by before the platform went off again and John floated towards Karkat. The cancer troll tried his best to ignore the annoying human that was gaining on him and tried to get inside his respiteblock as quickly as possible but alas, he didn't make it in time. Karkat groaned when John successfully caught up and practically slammed his head against the closed door. "What do you want _now?_ " Karkat growled, looking over at John through the corner of his eye.

"I just...I just want a chance to hang out with you! Just once! I mean, there isn't many things to do around here and everyone except you and I has seemed to of paired up, ya know Terezi and Vriska and Kanya and Rose, and...just give me a chance!" John smiled but Karkat rolled his eyes again. "Please?" 

Karkat sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was honestly considering just walking into his room without mumbling another to John but John did have a point. Everyone had paired up leaving the two of them alone. Karkat could invite himself to Kanaya and Rose's hang out time but after a while they'd eventually tell him to stop. Terezi and Vriska would both get annoyed or bored of him within the first three seconds or Karkat would burst a vein at how frustrating the two were. Not to mention he still wanted to give Terezi some space since she had rejected him.

Sighing, the troll pressed a button and the door slid open. Karkat walked on in and left the door wide open and John alone in the hall. This was sort of like an invitation inside, right? With that in mind, John hesitantly took a step into the alien's bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't understand it though!" Karkat complained as he desperately tried to figure out John fucking Egbert. Kanaya was offering her help, as was Rose, but currently their help was just a string of vague comments. "Why does he insist on speaking to _me_ of all trolls! Hell, he has _Vriska_ here!" Kanaya hums and runs a hand through Karkat's hair, his head was rested upon her lap as he laid down on the couch.

"You don't have to understand it, Karkat." Rose replied as she looked up from her spot on the comfy alchemized recliner across from them. She was reading a book on quadrants that Kanaya had lent to her. "Just accept the fact that John has a great desire to be your friend. I accepted it and now he's one of my closest friends, best friend I should say. Simple really."

"But I don't _want_ him to be my close friend! I already have enough of those! Sadly they're all insane or dead or both but those are the only numb skulled bastard's that I will consider my close friends!" The frustrated cancer troll groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, the glowing hand running through his hair was actually soothing his current little tantrum. It didn't soothe him enough though, because he went back at it. "Why does he even want me to be friends with him anyway? I'm pretty fucking terrible. It's like I'm a regular at the universe's bad luck ice cream parlour and they keep serving me "Fuck You" sundaes with nice big "I hate you" cherry on top. I just get one shit storm after another." The glowing hand running through his hair momentarily paused its action to gently boop Karkat's nose. "What, is true!"

"True or not," Kanaya started as she went back to running a hand through his hair. "I really believe you should start thinking higher of yourself. Perhaps put yourself on the high pedestal John has seemed to put you on."

"John...put me on a high pedestal?" Karkat had to admit...it was nice. It was nice hearing that John had put Karkat on such a high pedestal. Karkat never thought of someone thinking so highly of him. It was...it was different. It was nice.

"Well not that I know of. But if you believe all of these negative things that have happened are your fault or you get all the supposed 'bad luck' of the entire crew than he must've put you on some sort of pedestal to look past all those negative things." Karkat sighed in frustration. He still finds it hard to believe that John of all people on this meteor is practically pissing himself to spend time with Karkat.

"Listen Karkat." Karkat craned his neck to face the Seer who had put her book down and leaned forward. "John has always harboured some liking towards you. He once commented how you were his favourite out of all the trolls, though that may be because of your funny rants that you're oh so famous for. I suggest that since Terezi and Vriska have gotten so close since the beginning of our three year long journey and how I most likely bore you to death and how Kanaya may not always be there for you, it's best that you swallow that tremendous pride of yours and become best goddamn pals with John Egbert." Karkat growled and looked back at Kanaya who merely shrugged and nodded.

"She's correct you know. It might be fun to have someone to pal around with. You can't be constantly clinging to my leg or Terezi's leg the entire sweep we're here. You know Terezi still needs some space after your...uh...little falling out. And I will need my space eventually too. So suck it up and befriend him." Another frustrated growl was heard from Karkat and a moment later he rolled off the lap of the rainbow drinker.

"Fucking fine. I'll go befriend the shithead that rejected me. But if this ends up in a bad time I will blame both of you witches for this shit, go it?"

"Actually Karkat, I'm a Seer and Kanaya's a Sylph. Jade is the one in our group that is a witch. Oh, and the lovely Miss Feferi as well." The cancer troll rolled his eyes and stomped out the room, he wasn't about to further an already dead conversation.

He stomped his way down the halls, his mind trying to formulate some sort of scenario where he and John could have any sort of chance where they become friends and Karkat doesn't unload all of his pent up feelings of his rejection. Of course none of the situations created in the very depths of the troll's mind showed that he wouldn't scare the poor human away with horrible, fucked up feelings that were left to marinate in hatred. Oh well, John would just have to deal with Karkat's unavoidable feelings dump.


	5. Chapter 5

"What about my guardian?" Karkat asked, not even peeking over the book that was written in his weird alien language. John was idly sitting on the couch, upside down of course. What other way is there to sit on a couch? The Heir was doing nothing more than making a piece of paper float in the air with his windy powers. The two had been hanging out a lot more, Karkat took both Rose and Kanaya's advice and actually got along with his once-upon-a-time hate-crush. It was going surprisingly well. John would now refer to Karkat as his best friend and by this time Karkat wouldn't even deny it. He'd just groan and roll his eyes.

"I just want to know more about them. You said that all your troll parents are like...giant monsters of sorts. What was yours?" John heard Karkat let out a long elaborate sigh, a key sign that the troll was about to drop a giant culture bomb on John's poor unsuspecting ass.

"You see Fuckbert." Ah yes. There it was. The infamous beginning to an equally infamous lecture. John was excited to say at the least. "My lusus was a giant fucking crab. A literal goddamn crab. And please," Karkat said once he noticed John open his mouth. "Leave any sort of stupid comments for the end. Please and thank you. Now, Crabdad--" John couldn't help it. He let out a loud laugh and made a feeble attempt to stifle it with his hand. Crabdad. Oh my god, Karkat literally called his giant crab monster parent Crabdad. Adorable. The cancer troll crossed his arms and stayed quiet. He was like a teacher saying 'I'll wait' once the class filled with gross pre-pubescent teens got a bit too loud for her liking. Finally the human's laughs died down and Karkat began. "As I was saying, Crabdad was a giant goddamn monster. A good five feet taller than my shitty self. He had huge ass claws that could quite literally tear you in half of you pissed him off."

Karkat set his book down and hopped off his seat before he began walking slowly. "In my upmost opinion he was probably the best goddamn lusus out there. For one, I mean he didn't fucking leave me like Gam's lusus and he didn't eat other trolls like Feferi or Vriska's lusus. And he wasn't a pathetic little fucking bull fairy, may Tinkerbull rest in peace though he was an adorable little shit. Also he wasn't a giant sea monster that could probably kill off my entire planet if he raised his voice above a fucking whisper. So Crabdad was pretty much the best of lusii. And if you don't believe me now, just wait until you hear about my many amazing stories praising this giant crab that had some anger issues." From there, Karkat went on. And on and on and on about how amazing his lusus was.

John was listening to every single word that this fiery troll was spitting out of him of course. But often during his "Crabdad was the greatest lusus in all of Alternia and here's why!" lecture he found himself starting to notice some very interesting things. For one, John noticed that Karkat used his hands when he spoke. He used them a lot. The troll's grey hands were waving about so much that John feared they'd fall right off his wrists. His eyes wandered up to the top of Karkat's head. His horns were poking out from underneath soft looking black hair. The rounded tops of his horns were surrounded in fluffy tufts of hair and in all honesty, John just wanted to run his hand through Karkat's hair.

Platonically of course.

There's nothing romantic about wanting to run a hand through your best friends hair. Lots of people do it platonically. Besides, he only wants to do it for science. Yeah, science. Troll hair looks different in texture and John needs to confirm this not-so-popular headcanon he had for troll hair.

"Are you even fucking listening to me, assclown?" Karkat snaps, yanking John out of his thoughts. The Heir nods quickly which only make Karkat sneer as he sits back down at his seat and pick up his book. "The next time you ask me to explain shit to you, forget about it. Because you don't fucking listen and stare off into blank space while I waste my goddamn breath explaining said shit." The troll huffed and resumed his previous reading, making John frown a bit. Great job John.

"Hey Karkat?" The God Boy asked. Karkat grunted in response. "What book are you reading? The cover makes it look like a weird orgy of horns and celebrities in grey body paint." The troll rolled his eyes as John giggled at his own comment.

"This book is none of your damn business Fuckbert. I told you I wasn't going to explain shit to you anymore since apparently you don't have the fucking decency to pay attention. Now if you'll excuse me," Karkat pushed himself up and bookmarked his page. "I'm going to go find a quiet place to read, free of morons such as yourself." Aw fuck. Now Karkat's upset. John couldn't help but feel a little twinge of guilt for purposely and accidentally pushing the short trolls buttons.

"We're still on for movie night tonight, right?" John called after Karkat and received an angry and unbelieving _'Of course!!'_ in response. Smiling to himself, John floated up and down the many halls to reach his room. After opening the door and floating in, the human flopped down on his bed which felt like it was made of actual clouds at the moment. It was heavenly. After spending so many nights falling asleep on the couch or floor with his new pal Karkat, even this shitty alchemized bed felt great. Speaking of Karkat, there were still a few hours until their planned movie night, that night's featured film being another one of those pretty bad romantic comedies Karkat adored so much. John sighed and stood up to grab his newly alchemized laptop and sat back down, opening up PesterChum.

\-- ectoBiologist[EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist[TT] \--

EB: hi rose!   
EB: i haven't talk to you in a while :P   
TT: Yes I know.   
TT: You have been spending your time predominantly with a certain one of our dear troll friends.   
TT: I have to say, I'm impressed.   
EB: impressed??   
TT: Yes. I would've assumed that Karkat would've somehow found a way to just stop talking to you altogether. Perhaps maybe one of your pranks going too far or you ragging on his favorite films.  
TT: You've kept him around as a friend longer than I expected.   
EB: wow, thanks for believing in me rose. it really means a lot that you had soooo much faith in me.   
TT: You're welcome.   
TT: Now, what is it you need of me?   
EB: what?   
TT: Come on John, after practically sewing your hip to Karkat's you only come to the rest of us when you need something. In fact, isn't tonight your scheduled movie night? Shouldn't you be preparing for your little date with him?  
EB: nah, movie night isn't for a few hours I have plenty of time to get ready.   
TT: Do you?   
EB: yeah!   
EB: wait.   
EB: rose!!   
EB: it isn't a date!!   
EB: it's just a little bro bonding time.   
EB: kind of like how you and kanaya spend all your time together.   
TT: Actually Kanaya and I are an item. We're exploring the flushed quadrant of troll romance together.   
EB: oh, wow. okay uh forget that comparison.   
TT: Mm, no thank you. You just compared your so called "friendship" with Karkat to my romantic relationship with Kanaya. I'm remembering this for the rest of eternity.   
EB: ugh.  
EB: fine you do that but i'm still not dating karkat!   
EB: i'm not a homosexual remember!   
TT: Yes I remember. But feelings and people change John. You are now more mature than you were back then and who knows.   
EB: i know!   
TT: Or you could be confused.   
TT: Just remember that there is more than two sexualities. 

\--  tentacleTherapist[TT]  ceased pestering  ectoBiologist[EB]  \-- 

John sighed in frustration. Rose didn't know what she was talking about, she wasn't him. She didn't feel his feelings or think his thoughts. He did that for himself. And he was certain that he did not have feelings for Karkat.

Fairly certain.

Sort of certain.

Not so certain...

_Fuck._

This isn't happening. He didn't like his new best friend. He didn't like someone who had a previous hate crush on him. He didn't like an alien. He didn't like Karkat. No he didn't like him. Karkat is a friend. A best friend. Rose was crazy!

Then again...John had been having those weird thoughts. Like wanting to run his hand through his best friends hair just to feel those soft looking locks of black. No. That's platonic. Or was it?

Fuck.

_Fuck._

John had to clear his head. He had to. He couldn't go out there a mess, then Karkat would pester him until John blurted out something really embarrassing and in result ended their friendship on accident. Shit. John had movie night in a while with Karkat, he couldn't go watch a shitty movie with his best pal while he was having awkward second thoughts on his actual feelings towards Karkat. The Heir of Breath groaned and clicked on Karkat's name, already regretting what he was about to say.

\--  ectoBiologist[EB]  began pestering  carcinoGeneticist[CG]  \-- 

EB: hey karkat.   
CG: WHAT IN THE NAME OF EVER LOVING FUCK IS IT NOW?   
CG: ARE YOU GOING TO ASK ME TO EXPLAIN HOW THE BLOOD BASED HIERARCHY WORKED ON ALTERNIA ONLY TO START TWIDDLING YOUR THUMBS AND IGNORE EVERY WORD I WRITE WHILST I TYPE PARAGRAPH AFTER AGONIZING PARAGRAPH?   
EB: no no!   
EB: i won't do that again i promise!   
EB: and sorry for that too. i was being a grade a douchebag earlier.   
CG: WHATEVER. WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT THAT IT COULDN'T WAIT THE COUPLE OF HOURS FROM HERE TO MOVIE NIGHT? TONIGHT'S FEATURE FILM IS ONE I THINK YOU'D ENJOY.   
EB: that's sort of the thing i need to talk to you about actually!   
EB: i uh   
EB: can't really make it to movie night tonight, sorry.   
CG: WHAT?   
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU "CAN'T REALLY MAKE IT?"   
EB: i forgot i made other plans...   
CG: UH HUH. "OTHER PLANS."   
EB: yeah! with vriska!   
CG: VRISKA.   
EB: heh...yeah vriska. i haven't been spending as much time with her lately so i thought it'd be nice!   
CG: WHATEVER.   
CG: HAVE FUN WITH THAT BULGE MUNCHING BITCH FUCKBERT. 

\--  carcinoGeneticist[CG]  ceased pestering  ectoBiologist[EB]  \-- 

Great. Now for part two of John's fucked up plan that was potentially ruining his friendship with Karkat.

\--  ectoBiologist[EB] began pestering  arachnidsGrip[AG]  \-- 

EB: vriska!   
AG: Well well wellllllll.   
AG: Look who it is!   
AG: John Eg8ert!   
AG: Speaking to little old me after suuuuuuuuch a long time.   
AG: I'm honored that y8u finally took some time away from my 8rave 8rave leader to talk to the little people in life.  
AG: Especially since one of these little pe8ple helped you achieve god tier and 8asically molded you into the 8est fucking leader you puny humans ever got the honor of having.   
AG: I'm ecstatic!!!!!!!!   
EB: vriska we don't have time for this!   
EB: i need a huge favor!   
AG: Do you now.   
EB: yes!!!!   
AG: And what may that "little fav8r" 8e?   
EB: well i sort of need you to lie to karkat right now.   
AG: You want me to lie to Karkat.   
AG: W8w. Isn't tonight your movie night?   
EB: yes! but i can't go and told him that i forgot i made plans with you instead!   
AG: Hmmmmmmmm........   
EB: please!!!!   
AG: Normally I'd say no and let y8u crash and 8urn, especially since you've 8een IGNORING the rest of us like chumps!   
AG: 8ut I'm feeling especially nice today so I'll lie to Karkat for you.   
EB: yes! thank you!   
AG: Yeah yeah.   
AG: Oh, speak of the devil! Karkat's currently throwing a hilariously written temper tantrum my way.   
AG: You 8etter 8e gr8ful that I'm doing this Eg8ert.   
EB: i am!   
AG: Why don't you want to watch his silly little movies with him anyway?   
AG: last time I checked y8u were drooling all 8ver him. Like a 8ark8east on a 8one or Equius over a weird and graphic nudie picture of a horse.   
EB: personal reasons!  
EB: thank you!! 

\-- ectoBiologist[EB] ceased pestering arachnidsGrip[AG] \--

John sighed in relief and flopped back down on his bed. This plan was horrible. This plan might ruin his friendship with Karkat. John hated this plan. But he needed some time to think and clear his head. John only hoped that when this was all over, Karkat would forgive him and their friendship would be back on track. 


	6. Chapter 6

Vriska. John was hanging out with Vriska. Karkat could not for the life of him fathom why John would rather spend his time with that psycho bitch instead of him. He just didn't understand why all of the sudden John would just suddenly cancel their plans for _her._

The cancer troll was angrily muttering to himself in his respiteblock, pacing back and forth. Was John just tired of him? Karkat could understand that, he wasn't exactly the easiest troll to get along with. The troll let out a frustrated little growl and glanced over at his husktop. He had to get to the bottom of this. He stomped over to his desk where his husktop was sitting and practically smashed the power button. The home screen for Trollian was already on the monitor, all Karkat had to do was click on Vriska's dumb blue name...

Or he could just let it go. This was John's life. John could make his own decisions. John could live his life the way he wanted to and if living his life meant ditching Karkat, on movie night, for Vriska than so be it.

Nah, Karkat had to get to the bottom of what was so important.

\-- carcinoGeneticist[CG] began trolling arachnidsGrip[AG] \--

CG: HEY BITCH.    
CG: LONG TIME NO SEE.   
CG: OR SHOULD I SAY LONG TIME NO TAKE AWAY THE ONE PERSON THAT WOULD ACTUALLY TALK TO ME ON THIS FUCKING ROCK.    
AG: Oh Karkat, you're as annoyed as ever! And I can't help 8ut feel like I'M the reason you're soooooooo annoyed today.   
CG: YOU CAN BET YOUR ENTIRE ASS YOU'RE THE FUCKING REASON WHY I'M ANNOYED TODAY YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A BLUE BLOOD.   
CG: WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT PLANS HAVE YOU MADE WITH EGBERT?    
AG: Karkat that is personal 8usiness and luckily for me I don't have to tell you shit. ::::)    
CG: OH YES YOU DO BULGEMUNCH.    
CG: TELL ME NOW.    
AG: Sounds like SOME8ODY is JEALOUS!    
CG: I AM NOT JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!    
CG: I'M JUST SICK AND TIRED OF THE APPARENT SUBSCRIPTION I HAVE TO "VRISKA STEALS WHATEVER PERSON ACTUALLY WANTS TO TALK TO ME" MONTHLY.    
AG: Oh please. Karkat you're just 8eing melodramatic again. When have I EVER stolen your friends?    
CG: HMMMMMMMMMMMM. LET ME SEE, WE HAVE KANAYA WHO YOU WERE A HORRIBLE MOIRAIL TO. YOU FORCED SOLLUX TO FUCKING MURDER HIS MATESPRIT HE WAS A DAMN BORE FOR MONTHS AFTED THAT. TEREZI WHO YOU HAVE GLUED TO YOUR FUCKING HIP AND I CAN NEVER HAVE A ONE ON ONE CONVERSATION WITH HER ANYMORE. GAMZEE WHO IS NOW IN A FRIDGE. AND LOOK!!! JOHN FUCKING EGBERT HERE TOO WITH WHATEVER IDIOTIC PLANS YOU TWO HAVE.    
CG: MAYBE INSTEAD OF BEING THE THEIF OF LIGHT, YOU COULD BE THE THEIF OF KARKAT'S FRIENDS.   
AG: Just as I suspected.    
AG: Jeeeeeeeealous!!!!!!!!    
CG: FUCK YOU.    
CG: I AM NOT, NOR WILL I EVER BE JEALOUS.   
CG: JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU TWO HAVE PLANNED.    
AG: Well if you MUST kn8w, John and I were going to go on a d8 tonight.    
CG: WHAT THE FUCK, WHY.   
AG: We're rekindling the small flushed feelings we had for one another when I so generously helped him gain godtier and 8ecome the 8est leader in all of Paradox Space.    
CG: FUCKING GROSS.

\-- carcinoGeneticst[CG] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip[AG] \--

Karkat was pissed off. More than pissed off in fact. John had ditched their very important movie night to rekindle whatever temporary feelings he had for a psycho bitch that would leave his pathetic little blood pusher in pieces. Karkat let out an angry sigh and exited out of the conversation with Vriska, he should really be looking at the bright side of this. At least he could talk and hang out with Terezi now. In fact, that was exactly what he was going to do.

\-- carcinoGeneticst[CG] began pestering gallowsCalibrater[GC] \--

CG: HEY.    
GC: H3Y K4RK4T >:]    
CG: LISTEN I KNOW WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN SINCE SHIT HIT THE WHIRLING DEVICE BUT I'M ABOUT TO WATCH A BEAUTIFULLY CREATED MOVIE AND I WAS WONDERING SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO PLANS OTHER THAN SITTING AROUND AND LICKING LITERALLY EVERYTHING IF YOU WOULK JOIN ME IN WITNESSING A MASTERPIECE.    
GC: K4RK4T WH4T M4K3S YOU THINK I *DON'T* H4V3 PL4NS? I'M H4NGING OUT WITH VRISK4.    
CG: WAIT. YOU'RE HANGING OUT WITH VRISKA? TONIGHT?    
GC: UH DUHHH    
GC: YOU R34LLY N33D TO G3T OUT MOR3, TH3 L4CK OF INT3R4CTION WITH P3OPLE IS ST4RTING TO G3T TO YOU.    
CG: WAIT DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE GOING ON SOME WEIRD TRIPLE DATE WITH JOHN AND VRISKA?   
GC: VRISK4 ISN'T GOING ON A D4T3 WITH TH4T DW33B, SH3'S GOING TO H3LP M3 LOOK FOR MOR3 S3CR3T P4ASS4G3S.

_What._

Karkat slammed his husktop shut and stood up. The cancer troll didn't remember much from his walk from his room to John's, all her remembered was the pain of his nails digging into his palms and practically smashing the button to open up the door. John was idly sitting on his alchemized human bed, flipping through some sort of graphic novel. Karkat didn't even wait for John to acknowledge him, he just stomped in and began screeching at the human.

"What kind of fucked up excuse do you have now, shitstain?" Karkat asked, his arms crossed and a glare fixated at John. The Heir blinked, that "oh fuck" look plastered on his face. Karkat scoffed. "Exactly. Fuck you John Egbert. You decided to make up some bullshit excuse involving Vriska to get out of movie night."

"I just didn't want to hurt your feelings!" John exclaimed, scrambling to stand up. "What else was I supposed to say?!"

"Hmm." Karkat tapped his chin. "Oh I don't know, how about 'Hey Karkat, I'm not in the mood for movie night tonight, so I'm going to tell you like a decent person and not a douchebag. Maybe we can reschedule for some other day?' You see that would be an appropriate way to tell me you're done with my friendship." John groaned and shook his head.

"No, it's not like that! I'm not done with your friendship! I love your friendship! It's the friendliest friendship in all of friendship history! It's the bestest friendship! We're more than friends!-- Not in that way though..." The Knight of Blood scoffed.

"Oh yeah, if you weren't done with my friendship then what is so fucking important that you had to go through the entire process of getting Vriska to lie for you?!" John chewed his lower lip and Karkat stood there, waiting impatiently for an answer.

"It's...It's a human thing Karkat..." The cancer troll rolled his eyes. Of course it was a "human thing." Everything was a human thing now and it was pissing Karkat off.

"You know next time you try to lie about fake date plans with that cold blooded murderer maybe you should inform her moirail so she can help you ruin your next friendship." With that he turned on his heel and left in a huff, leaving John alone.


	7. Chapter 7

"I just can't believe the _nerve_ he had to fucking _lie_ to me!" Karkat growled into the pillow he was smushing against his face. After his little incident with John, the cancer troll sought out comfort from the two most collected females on the meteor. He had returned to his spot on Kanaya's lap, his head resting on her lap and his legs on Rose's lap, and Kanaya had returned to soothingly running her hand through the smaller troll's hair. "I mean I get it, I do. Anyone is probably better to hang out with than a fuck up like me but you know what the _least_ he could do was be _honest_ with me! And maybe he could choose a better lie next time! A _date_ with _Vriska?_ Really? Did he not know that I'd go to Terezi to hang out? Did he not know that he should've probably told Terezi about his fake date with her palemate?" Kanaya nodded in agreement and gently tugged the pillow away from Karkats face, his face was red with anger.

"If I may speak," Rose piped up from beside Kanaya. She put her knitting needles down on top of the partially finished scarf she was making. "John does have a somewhat valid reason for creating such an elaborate lie and plan to go along with it. Though I do agree that he should've been less stupid and probably should've just said he wasn't up to hanging out." Karkat sat up and shot a glare at the Seer.

"Do _you_ know what John's reason was?" Rose nodded but remained silent. "Will you tell me?" Rose shook her head. The cancer troll let out a frustrated growl and snatched the pillow back before pressing it against his face.

"I will tell you this though," Rose mumbled and picked her knitting up yet again. Karkat peeked from underneath the pillow to look at the Seer of Light. "It's a very serious human problem. I went through it and at one point Dave went through it, or maybe Dave is _still_ going through it. Just give John some space and within no time the two of you will be at your antics yet again, fangirling over Nic Cage and Will Smith movies together." The cancer troll huffed and a glowing hand pulled the pillow away from his face yet again.

"She isn't lying you know." Kanaya said firmly. "From what Rose has told me John is going through a mini crisis, something deeply personal and I completely understand why he would need distance from you. It's a human thing that you wouldn't quite understand. Hell, I didn't understand it when Rose explained it to me. So don't take it personally." The short troll opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it and nodded in defeat. Yet again Karkat was hit with a giant knowledge bomb by none other than Rose and Kanaya. The troll rolled off the laps of the two females and landed on the ground before standing up. He waved goodbye to the two and left to his own respiteblock, his mind thinking og the conversation he just had.

The last person Karkat expected to see when he turned the corner of the hallway that led to his block, was John. Of course the human was standing there, waiting anxiously with a great big bowl of popcorn and a big fuzzy blanket. Oh no. Karkat was not going to be bribed to forgive John. The nubby horned troll growled and attempted to just smash the button to open his door and walk in without speaking a word to the Heir, of course the God of Breath had other plans. The split second before Karkat stepped into his room, John flew in and Karkat ended up walking in and shutting the door behind him. The two of them were alone now.

"Karkat," John began. "just give me like, thirty seconds to explain and if my explanation isn't good enough then I'll leave." The cancer troll pondered this offer. Thirty seconds of John explaining and at his will, Karkat could turn him away. Or Karkat could just yell at John to get out now. Decision decisions.

"Fine. Thirty seconds. Starting now." John nodded quickly and sucked in a breath before he began speaking.

"Alright so I already said it's a human problem but my human problem shouldn't Coke between our friendship! I shouldn't of lied to get out of this, that was a dick move and I'm sorry and just forgive me I swear that my stupid human problems won't bother you or hurt your feelings again!" John smiled nervously when he finished his little apology, his buck teeth showing off. The area around them was still and quiet and tense as Karkat stared John down and made his decision. Finally the troll sighed and his posture relaxed ever so slightly.

"Fine, fine. Your shitty little apology has done its duty and I forgive you." John's nervous smile stretched into a happy one as he leaned forward and tightly embraced the alien. The troll instantly tensed up but relaxed, still not hugging back. "Okay, okay you can stop touching me now." The buck toothed boy nodded and let go of Karkat, his happy smile still plastered on his face. "Let me just grab my crabtop..."

"I already have it set up! Let's go." Without waiting for Karkat's response to any of that, John switched the bowl from one arm to another before grabbing Karkat from the shoulder and pulled him to common room with the already set up husktop and movie. The troll version of Mean Girls was currently paused and displayed on the screen, this was the only movie John could actually stay awake through. Cautiously, Karkat sat down and snatched the blanket from John and wrapped himself up in the comfortable blanket.

"I really am sorry you know..." John mumbled, setting the popcorn between them and hitting play. "My human problem is stupid and irrelevant and it probably shouldn't of been as big of a deal as I made it out to be."

"Jesus fuck John, I already forgave your sorry ass what more do you want?" The buck toothed boy chuckled and shrugged.

"I dunno, maybe a friendship fist bump? So I know we're both still friends?" Karkat sighed dramatically and held out his fist to John.

"You're so needy." Karkat said, though a smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth. The Heir grinned and happily fist bumped his troll friend.

They were okay.


	8. Chapter 8

Time passed since John's sexuality crisis. He still didn't quite understand his feelings for Karkat but he tried his best to not let those confusing feelings for the perma-angry troll ruin their friendship. Of course, John wasn't the only one with confusing feelings for his friend.

Karkat too was getting weird mixed thoughts for his previous caliginous crush. The only difference here was that Karkat _expected_ these feelings to pop up at one point. The cancer troll already understood how his own feelings worked, and he very well knew that pretty soon he'd end up being selfish and wanting John all to himself. He'd want John in every single quadrant and he knew he would probably never have any sort of chance with him. Karkat knew, or so he thought, John's feelings towards his quadrants. Of course Karkat had learned his lesson and wasn't about to let his fucked up feelings ruin yet another relationship.

Of course that didn't mean Karkat wouldn't go whining to Kanaya and Rose about his sick attraction to the human. Karkat was in fact, spending yet another afternoon, at least he thought it was afternoon, in the common room with Kanaya avidly listening to his words and Rose piping up every so often. Except today Rose was a bit more detached from the conversation and Karkat didn't understand why.

"I just, I don't fucking get it Kanaya! Why the _fuck_ am I so messed up?! Why do I constantly need _one_ person in _every single quadrant?!_ It's stupid!" The distressed cancer troll let out a long sigh as the Jade blood spoke.

"It is just the way you are Karkat. My theory is that you care so much for that single person that you need them in every quadrant so you can show them that you care for them at all angles." The Knight of Blood shrugged and glanced over at the Seer who was sitting comfortably in a chair across from him, tapping the letter keys on her laptop's keyboard.

"Hey asshole," Karkat called out to the Seer who didn't even bother to look up. "Are my problems not significant enough to tear you away from whatever dumbfuck activity you're partaking in?" Rose chuckled and nodded, continuing to tap away at the letter keys. "What are you doing anyway?" Karkat questioned as he shifted so he sat cross legged.

"Oh, just talking to John. We're discussing the various plot twists in different Nic Cage films and how they can relate to one another and trying to discover theories that each one of his movies happened in the same universe." The troll rolled his eyes but didn't bother to pester the Seer anymore which was what she wanted. In reality she and John weren't discovering whatever lie Rose just pulled out her ass, instead she was trying to help John yet again with his sexuality crisis.

EB: i just don't know what to do!   
TT: Do what you feel is right.   
EB: that doesn't help me rose!!!!!!   
TT: Alright, fine. Tell me the various possibilities of what could happen if you do tell Karkat about your fluctuating feelings towards him.  
EB: well if I DO tell him then maybe he won't feel the same way and will just take what i said when I first rejected him and throw it back in my face or accuse me of lying and being a mega dickhead back then.   
EB: OR maybe he does like me but it's still that weird hate-love thing he used to feel for me! or it could be one of the other four romances.   
EB: there's also the small chance that he does like me back that way and he and i live happily ever after.   
TT: Alright now tell me what might happen if you decide against telling Karkat your jumbled up emotions.   
EB: i would save myself the humiliation of rejection or i would miss a great opportunity.   
TT: A great opportunity, eh?   
TT: Well John I believe you have found your answer.   
EB: yeah maybe...  
TT: Maybe?   
EB: well....what if this really IS just a phase for me? maybe that's why i'm so confused. maybe i do ask karkat out and we're together and shit and one day i wake up and realize i don't like him that way and i end up breaking his heart again!   
EB: i don't want to be a douchebag rose.   
TT: You're already one. We all are.   
EB: ugh i know.   
EB: sigh   
EB: besides, i'm still into chicks too.   
TT: Bisexuality does exist. John.   
EB: i don't think i'm bisexual.....but that is a good theory. It helps me get one step closer to finding out whatever the fuck I am.   
EB: uuuuuughhh, why is this so hard????  
TT: You are trying to figure out one piece of yourself, you honestly couldn't of expected to just say "I'm gay." or "I'm bisexual." or whatever other sexuality you could be and be done with it.  
EB: no i didn't expect that but i didn't expect to spend such a long time on this.  
TT: Well John, different people handle this different ways.  
EB: yeah yeah  
EB: i'm going to go alchemize some incredibly shitty cake to help me relax.  
TT: You have fun with that and make it a chocolate.

\-- tentacleTherapist[TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist[EB] \-- 

Rose closed her laptop and let out a quiet sigh. One problem was somewhat resolved, now to move on to the next. The Seer looked over at Kanaya who was mumbling some advice in a soothing tone to the small troll trying to suffocate himself on her lap. The Sylph looked over at her matesprit, not stopping her words of comfort. 

Rose glanced down at her laptop then back at Kanaya and shook her head, rolling her eyes as she did so. Kanaya nodded, understanding what Rose meant. It was often tiring dealing with both John and Karkat, the two of them were constantly pestering Rose and Kanaya with their confusing feelings for one another. At times Kanaya wanted to drag the two boys down to the common room by their ears and sit them down while Rose explained to each of them the other's feelings. Sadly, if the two of them did that they would have a very upset Karkat on their hands and they'd have face John's disappointed glances as well. 

For the time being, Rose and Kanaya were perfectly fine with counselling Karkat and John individually. Hopefully their helpful words and subtle nudges would lead the two of them where exactly where they want to be, with each other. Even if both of them were too stubborn to admit it. 


	9. Chapter 9

"I think it's pretty cute that you two nerds are spending practically every waking moment together." Terezi grinned and turned her head towards Karkat who was angry banging the malfunctioning alchemizer. "At least with him around you aren't all mopey and depressed and making everyone on this meteor feel like shit." Karkat rolled his eyes and the machine quickly sprang back to life. He was making popcorn for that night's feature film with John.

"It isn't cute. It's just two bros hanging out. And even if he wasn't here I'd find someone to hang around with. I'm not some lonely fucktard that just locks himself in his respiteblock all day, bored out of his thinkpan." Terezi snickered and Karkat sighed when the machine shut down yet again and began slapping the sides of it. He would be lying if he said he hadn't entertained the thought of himself and John in a quadrant together, preferably the flushed quadrant, but Karkat knew John didn't quite understand troll romance and he wasn't interested in Karkat. He wasn't interested in him back during the game and he wouldn't be interested now that they were on a murder rock in space.

"Oh please, you're exactly like that! You're Mr.Mopey Pants for a reason Karkat." The Cancer troll rolled his eyes and slapped the machine again, letting out a frustrated growl. Terezi hummed happily, hearing Karkat make such a big deal over such a small thing was a hilarious past time for her. She had to admit though, she was happy for the grumpy troll. Karkat needed someone to keep him happy and occupied. Someone to help him see the lighter parts of life. Luckily Karkat had John Egbert, one of the most cheerful beings in the universe. It was a perfect match in Terezi's opinion.

"Mr.Mopey Pants doesn't exist Terezi." Karkat grunted as he hip checked the machine. That did nothing. "All that's here is Mr.Happy All The Motherfucking Time Pants. And Mr.Happy All The Motherfucking Time Pants is here to stay." The Seer of Mind giggled and shook her head just as her moirail sashayed into the nutrition block.

"What's so funny here? Is it Karkat's weak attempts at fixing that piece of shit machine?" Vriska shoved Karkat aside and slapped the machine once. It instantly began working.

"How in the name of fuck did you manage that? I've been harassing this fucking machine for all of thirty minutes and the piece of garbage didn't want to work." The Thief smirked and tapped the corner of her left eye. Karkat rolled his eyes. He should've known. "Whatever. I'll grab my exploded corn and leave you two witches to cackle evilly and plan your next great curse of annoyance." The troll turned to face the machine, which was still working properly and making a nice big bowl of delicious looking popcorn.

"Hold on there Mr.Mopey Pants, I STILL don't know what was so funny!" Terezi giggled again and leaned over to whisper in her moirails ear, her hand covering his whispering mouth. The cobalt blood snickered. "Awwwwwwww, Karkat has a little crush. How cuuuuuuuute! I should tell Kanaya to bring out the camera so we can capture this important milestone in your life."

"Fuck. You." Finally. Finally the popcorn was finished. Karkat quickly pushed the button to open the little door and quickly grabbed the bowl of popcorn. Just as he was about to turn around and exit the room, Vriska and Terezi practically appeared out of nowhere in front of him. The cancer troll groaned. "Can you two take your little shit-fest somewhere else? I'm sort of in a hurry here."

"Aw, worried you'll be late for your little date with John?" Karkat slapped his forehead with his free hand. He really didn't have time to stay and squabble with the infamous Scourge Sisters but they kept poking at him he was tempted to give them a piece of his thinkpan. Who is he kidding, he had to tell them off, or at least say _something._

"Ha, hahaha. You're so fucking funny Serket. Tell me, do you get your insults from the load gaper? Because they're all shit." Karkat smirked and took a step forward but the Their of Light refused to move.

"Says the guy who's insults sound like something a five sweep old would say!" Okay that was it. Karkat was late enough as it was, he couldn't waste anymore time here. With a determined look on his face, Karkat pushed past the two cackling ladies. Thankfully none of the popcorn had fallen out of the bowl. Finally Karkat could head to common room where John was expectantly waiting for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What movie are we watching today?" John asked as he munched on some of the alchemized popcorn. Karkat was sitting on the edge of the couch, scrolling through his giant selection of movies. Both human and alien.

"Fuck, how about "In Which A Rust Blood Female Troll Gets Relocated To A New Part Of The Empress' Army Only To Find Her Olive Blooded Flushed Crush From Her Bootcamp Days Was In That Specific Part Of The Empress' Military As Well Only The Problem Is That He Has An Entirely New Persona Than The First Time She Met Him And He Fails To Realize That Talking And Treating Her The Way He Treats His Previous Red Rom Or Black Rom Flings Was A Bad Idea And Then The Male Star Of The Story Spends An Abundant Amount Of Time Trying To Show The Female That He Is Trustworthy Enough To Enter Her Red Quadrant While The Star Female Of The Movie Contemplates His Advances With Her New Group Of Acquaintances Who Also Have Relationship Troubles In Their Red, Pale, Pitch, And Ashen Quadrants."? Does that sound good or do I have to break my fucking finger scrolling through an endless list of movies?" Karkat glanced at John who was still munching on the buttery popcorn.

"Nah, Grease sounds good. Maybe after watching it soooo many times I won't be as confused to which quadrant is which or whatever." Karkat rolled his eyes and clicked play before easing back into the comfortable couch. John subtly inched closer to the troll and tilted the bowl of popcorn in Karkat's direction. "So...why were you so late today...? Not that I'm saying you had to be here at our set time! Just...you're never late." John glanced over at Karkat. He wouldn't admit it, even if the troll probably knew, but John was slightly worried that Karkat had found something better to do than watch movies they've seen eighty times already with John.

"Vriska and Terezi cornered me in the nutrition block while I was making our snack. I swear to fuck those two just fucking appear out of thin air, it's like some fucked up superpower that they only use on me!" John chuckled. "The two nook sniffers also had the audacity to say you and I are fucking dating, can you believe them?" Karkat huffed and grabbed a handful of popcorn, shoving it in his mouth.

"Heh, yeah. It's pretty silly thinking you and I would ever date huh?" The Heir of Breath masked the tiny bit of hurt in his voice with his usual chipper tone.

"Yeah. I mean, you weren't into me way back when, why would you be into me now? What the fuck would change? All that's happened is that we've actually hung out as opposed to me screeching shit to you via Trollian." A hint of anger could be clearly heard from Karkat's tone. Yes the troll was always angry, but this was different. Maybe it was more annoyed? Frustrated? Defeated? "I mean, all that's happened between then and now is that pretty much everything fucking changed. Besides, you said so yourself back when you were six sweeps. You aren't interested in troll romance or me."

John stayed quiet after that, mentally flinching at what Karkat said. He wanted to tell Karkat to stop. He wanted to tell Karkat about his weird mixed up feelings and how he was constantly questioning his sexuality. He wanted to tell Karkat he didn't know what he was feeling right now for his best bro. He wanted to tell Karkat that he was sorry for being a stupid thirteen year old from what seemed like an eternity ago. He wanted to apologise to Karkat. But he couldn't.

John was scared.

The movie passed without another word, Karkat actually ended up falling asleep. The small troll was curled up on the couch, his head on the armrest and legs pulled up to his chest. John couldn't help but smile a little, Karkat was adorable. Slowly the God stood up and shut off Karkat's crabtop before stretching. The sleeping Knight of Blood let out tiny snores and John's goofy smile widened.

"Goodnight you dweeb..." The Heir of Breath leaned down to his sleeping friend and pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead.


	10. Chapter 10

\-- ectoBiologist[EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist[TT] \--

EB: rose!!!!!!!!   
EB: rose we have a huge emergency!!!!!!!   
EB: why aren't you answering me????  
TT: Because this will probably be like your "somebody stole my pants" incident.  
EB: this is nothing like that!   
EB: and i swear i didn't even know kanaya took them to wash!   
TT: She told you John!   
TT: What, did you need her to personally show you what she was going to do with your pants?   
EB: that would've been greatly appreciated but that isn't what the emergency is for!   
TT: Then what?   
EB: just click on the picture and i'll tell both you and kanaya.   
TT: What picture?   
EB:

TT: Jesus fuck John.   
EB: just click on it!   
TT: Fine.

  


EB AT ?:?? opened memo on board I'M SO CONFUSED

tentacleTherapist[TT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo

grimauxiliatrix[GA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo

GA: I See That Enticing Picture Of Johns Favorite Human Actor Has Led You Here As Well Rose.   
TT: Yep.   
TT: Yet again I was bamboozled by the wonderful image of Nic Cage.   
GA: Such A Tragedy.   
EB: guys guys   
EB: let's stop gushing about the wonderful world of cage for one second and talk about the real problem!   
TT: And what might the real problem be?   
GA: Is It Your Pants again?   
EB: oh my fucking godddddd   
EB: no it isn't my pants again!   
EB: that was a ONE TIME THING!!!!!!!!!!!  
GA: You Really Are Attached To Your Trousers.   
EB: ugh   
EB: ANYWAY   
EB: the real problem is karkat  
TT: Did something happen to your little crush? Is he hurt?   
GA: Karkat Isnt Hurt Rose, I Can Assure You That.   
GA: Hes Sleeping Peacefully Besides Me On My Pillow Pile.   
GA: By The Way He Likes The Scarf You Made Him.   
TT: Good   
EB: jesus dick with sprinkles  
EB: this isn't what we're here to talk about!!  
GA: But I Thought We Were Talking About Karkat?  
EB: we are but something specific about him!   
TT: Enlighten us.   
EB: okay uh   
EB: i sort of kissed him...  
GA: Im Failing To See How Kissing Him Is A Problem.   
TT: Yes, isn't that sort of what you wanted?  
EB: yeah but i just   
EB: fuuuuuck   
EB: okay so i know for sure that i like him.   
EB: but there's several problems   
EB: one) he sounds pretty beat up about my stupid rejection way back when we were thirteen.   
EB: two) i still don't know what i am and it's sort of driving me nuts! i have to figure out my sexuality!!   
TT: I can see your dilemma.   
GA: I Cant.   
GA: If You Know You Like Him Then Why Dont You Just, As The Human Saying Goes, Grow Some Balls And Ask Him Out?   
TT: This is a human sort of thing.  
EB: yeah...i mean...i could always say i'm into the whole troll romance thing but i'm not. i just want to know so at least i have like some sort of closure i guess? i mean, i know i don't have to label myself considering i'm on a fucking meteor with aliens.   
TT: Well, Kanaya and I will be here to help you.   
GA: Yes We Will.   
GA: This Will Also Be A Great Opportunity For Me To Learn About Your Many Human Means Of Complicated Romance.   
EB: yeah yeah sounds great.   
TT: So John, where do we begin?   
EB: i don't know!!!   
TT: Alright well...we've ruled out your heterosexuality.   
EB: obviously.   
TT: You say you aren't a homosexual seeing as you still find girls attractive.   
EB: yeah...  
TT: That leaves us with the possibility for bisexuality or pansexuality.   
TT: Of course there are a fuck ton of others but you're already confused enough as it is so I'll just stick to the ones you most likely are.   
EB: yeah okay.   
EB: bi and pan it is!   
GA: If I Remember Correctly, Bisexual Is Where Someone Likes People Of Both Sexes, Correct?   
TT: Right as always Kanaya.   
GA: Alright, Well In That Case John Might Be Bisexual. He Has Felt Attraction To Both Males And Females.  
TT: That's true. John, any thoughts? This is your thing after all.   
EB: i don't know!   
EB: i mean   
EB: i guess?   
TT: Alright well there's still another so don't get your boxers in a bunch.   
TT: I feel like perhaps you're pansexual.   
TT: You've been having crushes on people for ages without knowing what they physically look like.   
GA: If I May Ask, Whats Pansexual?   
TT: It's when someone is not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.  
EB: that might be it!   
EB: i mean, trolls technically aren't people right?   
GA: Excuse You?   
TT: Phrasing John. Remember our alien counterparts don't know what we mean if we say things like that.   
EB: oh fuck...  
EB: sorry kanaya! :(   
GA: Its Alright.   
GA: I Think.   
EB: i meant like   
EB: fuuuuck  
EB: i can't explain what i meant!   
EB: trolls aren't like....humans I guess??   
EB: i mean obviously they aren't humans but they don't have the same naughty bits as us.   
TT: Naughty bits.   
TT: Really John?   
TT: Naughty bits?  
GA: Just Say Genitals, We Already Know What You Mean Anyway.   
EB: jeez, sorry for trying to keep this PG!   
TT: Hm.   
EB: anyway, trolls don't have the same genital structure as us! right? i don't know honestly and i don't want to know what the hell's going on down there anytime soon.   
TT: I guess we'll save the troll biology session for another day then.   
EB: hehe, yeah.   
GA: You Two Are Getting Off Topic.   
GA: And Can We Please Hurry This Along? Karkat Isnt The Best Sleeper And All The Tapping From My Husktop Is Causing Him To Stir.   
EB: shit okay   
EB: pansexual   
EB: rose has a very very very good uh, reason I guess??   
EB: i did have a crush on like her and vriska for their personalities and junk before i ever even knew what they looked like!   
GA: So Youre Pansexual Then?   
EB: uhhh  
EB: maybe?   
EB: maybe i really am bi!   
EB: why is this so fucking confusing!  
TT: Like I said before, you couldn't of honestly expected to just wake up one day and instantly know what your sexual orientation was. It takes a lot of time to figure it out.   
GA: After All, It Is A Huge Part Of Yourself.   
GA: Im Afraid I Must Go, Karkat Is Close To Waking Up And I Wouldnt Want Him To Read All Of This Before You Even Figure What You Are.   
GA: Good Luck You John.

grimauxiliatrix[GA] RIGHT NOW left memo on board I'M SO CONFUSED

EB: rose, i'm so confused.   
TT: I know. That's the board name after all.   
EB: what am i going to do?   
TT: John, I think you've known for a long time what you want to do. You've just been too scared to do it. Scared, I don't know why but you do.  
EB: i just   
EB: ugggggh  
EB: all my life i've thought i was straight. i've only had crushes on girls but then i spend some time with a perma-angry alien and suddenly i'm not straight.   
EB: i feel like i've been lying to myself and my friends all my life.   
EB: and  
EB: what if when this whole meteor trip is over and we regroup with jade and dave and everyone else   
EB: what if i tell dave and he just doesn't accept it.   
TT: Why wouldn't your best bro for approximately thirteen years accept you for who you are?   
EB: maybe he'll feel like i just sort of lied to him all those years ago when he told me he liked me and i said i'm not a homosexual.   
TT: But you're not a homosexual. Are you?   
EB: no...  
EB: no   
EB: i'm pansexual.  
TT: Dave isn't the type of person to judge you, you know. He'll accept you. Especially since he isn't straight himself.   
EB: and jade?   
TT: Jade is your ghost slime sister.   
TT: Jade has known you, me, and dave all these years.   
TT: Jade knew of Dave's crush on you.   
TT: Jade knows that I'm a lesbian.   
TT: Jade won't have a problem knowing that her slime brother isn't straight.   
EB: yeah...i guess you're right.   
TT: Like always.   
TT: So John, what will you do?   
EB: i'll do what i've been wanting to do for a long time.   
TT: That's the spirit.

tentacleTherapist[TT] RIGHT NOW left memo on board I'M SO CONFUSED


	11. Chapter 11

"What the fuck is with you today?" Karkat asked in annoyance as John's leg began shaking. Again. Something was definitely wrong with his human friend, he just didn't know what and it was driving him in-fucking-sane. He's been asking and pestering John for hours, asking what bugging him. John refused to tell him though, he would reply with a simple 'Nothing's wrong Karkat.'

"Nothing's wrong Karkat." The troll growled and leaned over to press pause on one of John's favorite, or at least the one he could stand the most, movies. John sighed and leaned back into the couch, prepared for whatever Karkat was about to throw at him.

"Fuck you John. I can't read your fucking mind and automatically know what the hell is going on in that simple human thinkpan of yours. Now tell me what the shit is wrong with you or I swear to fuck I will find out myself." Karkat was eyeing John down and John was trying his best to imitate Dave's famous stoic expression. Finally, after what seemed like an hour long staring contest, Karkat huffed and pressed play on the movie. John had won. What has he won? He won not being asked by Karkat if he was okay for a couple more hours, that what he won. Truth be told he _wanted_ to tell Karkat that Karkat was the matter with John. John wanted to spill his guts to the over-emotional troll pal of his. John wanted to hold him and run a thumb over his cheek and slowly lean in to press a nice kiss to those soft looking lips. But he couldn't.

Not now at least.

John payed partial attention to the movie playing in front of him, his mind was elsewhere. How was he going to confess to Karkat? How was Karkat going to take it? Would John ruin his friendship with Karkat like this? So many questions and such little time to answer. John glanced over to the troll besides him who was watching the movie, his eyes glued to the screen and a frown on his face. John could do it. John could confess now.

Yeah.

John could just slowly wrap an arm around his alien crush, keep his eyes fixated on the movie and ask him if Karkat would be his boyfriend or the weird alien word for boyfriend. Yeah. That sounds simple enough. John could do it. Nothing's stopping him. Yeah. Yeah. John is going to do it. With a shaky breath, the human scooted closer and was about to lift his arm when the cancer troll angrily turned to face him. Fuck. 

"Fuck this, if you aren't even going to pay attention to the goddamn movie or tell me what's wrong, I'm leaving." The Heir of Breath blinked as his alien crush stopped the movie and took his crabtop away to the nearest transportalizer. John couldn't do this. He needed help. John needed guidance. John needed Karkat's moirail.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You want what now?" Kanaya glanced up from the book she was reading with Rose in the pillow pile. Rose had an amused smirk playing on her lips.

"I need to know how your other troll friends flirted with Karkat. Every time I try to flirt with him or anything he _always_ chooses that moment to leave or get really pissed off." The God sighed in frustration and flopped down besides the Jade blood in the pillow pile. "I just...fuck this is going to sound weird but I want to sort of...study how they flirted with Karkat so I can know what he likes and...ugh this sounded better in my head." Both the ladies besides him chuckled and shifted to get a better view at their frustrated friend.

"Well, it depends really what kind of flirting." Kanaya started. "I know for a fact that nearly everyone has pale flirted with him. He's perfect moirail material after all. There were some who pitch flirted with him, those were some pretty persistent people. He doesn't really hate anyone, except a select few. And then there were the few bold ones who attempted to get Karkat in their flushed quadrant--"

"That one! Tell me about those people." John's face lit up. There was hope for him yet. Kanaya nodded and began speaking again.

"Well those who tried to get him in the flushed quadrant, or at the very least red flirted with him were...hm...they were about four people. Nepeta, Sollux, Eridan, and Terezi. Eridan mainly pale flirted with him but there was one instance where he red flirted but Karkat shot him down. Nepeta had a long term crush on Karkat and attempted to keep it hidden but everyone knew due to her literally drawing her and Karkat kissing on every corner of this meteor. Sollux...Sollux's relationship with Karkat was difficult to explain. They flirted constantly but I just think that was their fucked up way of talking. It would take a quadrant master sweeps to try to analyze their weird relationship. Lastly there's Terezi. As you know Karkat had a long term flush crush on Terezi and at times...Terezi felt as if Karkat may have been the one. So she flirted back. It wasn't anything big, just winks and innuendos slipping into conversations. But as you may or may not know, they dated for a very short amount of time and broke up. That was that. Karkat actually got over it a lot quicker than I anticipated."

"Okay..." John was racking his brain trying to find some sort of similar thing between all those who have previously flirted with Karkat but so far nothing. "What did they all have in common though? Flirting wise I mean." Kanaya shook her head.

"No, they had nothing in common. Their flirting was strictly up to them and who they were. Sollux's flirting was made up of friendly banter and such things, Terezi's was subtle teasing, Eridan was just flat out red flirting, and Nepeta tried to give Karkat subtle hints that she likes him." John nodded slowly, trying to figure out exactly what this meant he should do.

"John," Rose piped up, grabbing her friend's attention. "What Kanaya means is be yourself. Don't try to copy other people's techniques at flirting. I know it sounds really fucking cliche but be yourself. It'll work," Rose stole a quick glance at Kanaya and slid her pale hand into Kanaya's glowing hand, smiling. "Trust me."


	12. Chapter 12

GC: JUST T3LL HIM 4LR34DY  
EB: it isn't that simple terezi!   
GC: UH   
GC: Y3S 1T 1S   
GC: 1 US3D TO D4T3 K4RK4T B3FOR3, R3M3MB3R?   
GC: 1 WOULD T3LL H1M L1K3 4LL TH3 FUCK1NG T1M3  
EB: agh!   
EB: don't remind me you two used to date!   
EB: it's only making me more nervous!   
GC: 4WWWW 4R3 YOU G3TT1NG J34LOUS? >:]   
EB: no! it's just getting me nervous.   
EB: what if i'm not a good matesprit or whatever like you were?   
GC: YOU'LL B3 F1N3   
GC: K4RK4T'S 1NTO DW33BS.   
GC: LUCKY FOR YOU, YOU'R3 4 DW33B.   
EB: i don't have time to argue with you over that so i'll just leave it at that.  
GC: H3H3H3  
GC: 1 ST1LL DON'T S33 WH4T'S SOO H4RD W1TH JUST S4Y1NG 'H3Y K4RK4T 1 H4V3 4 HUUUG3 N3RDY CRUSH ON YOU 4ND 1 W4NT TO SNOG YOU 4LL D4Y 3V3RY D4Y'  
EB: obviously i'm not going to say that.  
EB: that's stupid.  
GC: YOU'R3 STUP1D  
EB: we're getting off topic!!!!  
GC: WHOOPS  
GC: B4CK TO OP3R4T1ON M4K3 JOHN STOP B31NG SUCH A W33N13  
EB: wow  
GC: HOW W3R3 YOU PL4NN1NG ON T3LL1NG H1M 4NYW4Y?  
EB: uhh  
EB: oh fuck  
EB: oh man  
EB: i have nothing  
GC: >:[  
GC: GR34T.  
GC: S1GH  
GC: 1 TH1NK 1 N33D TO TURN TH1S 1NTO 4 M3MO.  
EB: what??? no???  
GC: UH   
GC: Y3S  
GC: YOU N33D 4 FUCK TON OF H3LP 3GDORK  
EB: ugh fine just keep karkat out of it okay?  
GC: UH DURRRRRRRRR  
GC: OF COURS3 1'M GOING TO K33P MR.MOP3Y P4NTS OUT OF 1T  
GC: OK4Y  
GC: JUST CL1CK ON TH3 P1CTUR3  
GC:  
  
EB: why do you even have that?????   
GC: K4RK4T 1SN'T THE ONLY TROLL TH4T L1K3S TROLL W1LL SM1TH YOU KNOW  
EB: whatever.

John rubbed his eyes. He was tired. He was stressed. John wanted to relax but he couldn't. Not for now at least. No, the next time John would relax it would be with Karkat in his arms. The two of them watching Good Luck Chuck for the billionth time but being too fixated on each other to even bother to pay attention to the movie. Yeah. Yeah that would be nice.

Of course none of that would happen if John didn't get his shit together and find a decent way to confess to Karkat. Of course it had to be _perfect._ John wouldn't just blurt out his feelings to the troll like an idiot. No, he'd be doing this with some class. The Heir knew that Karkat liked romance so John was going to be romantic. That was as far as John had gotten to any sort of plan. Well...John did have _something_ but it was probably a bit too dorky for Karkat's liking. Then again Kanaya and Rose had told him to be himself...

He sighed and clicked on the picture of Troll Will Smith which instantly directed him to a memo Terezi had made. This wouldn't be so bad. Right?

ectoBiologist[EB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo on board H3LP JOHN STOP B31NG 4 W33N13

GC: GR34T! 3V3RYON3'S H3R3!   
EB: it just looks like vriska, you, and i are here.   
AG: Yep! That's everyone!   
EB: what about kanaya and rose???   
AG: Who needs those losers????????  
EB: i do!   
EB: i need those losers!   
EB: they've been helping me out too! it's only fair that they help here too.   
AG: Well they're on a d8 tonight so you'll have to suck it up and talk to us!   
GC: OR 1S 1T SUCH 4 HUG3 BURD3N TO T4LK TO US NOW?   
EB: it isn't, i love talking to you guys!   
AG: Not as much as you loooooooove to talk to Karkat :::;)   
EB: shut up!   
GC: JOHN'S R1GHT. W3 H4V3 TO S4V3 4LL OUR GOOD JOK3S FOR WH3N H3 4ND K4RK4T 4R3 4CTU4LLY D4TING.   
AG: Gr8 idea!   
EB: what the fuck is happening   
EB: this memo was supposed to help me confess to karkat not to plan how to tease us about our relationship that may or may not exist in the future.   
GC: WH4T C4N W3 S4Y  
AG: We like to plan ahead.   
EB: well stop it   
EB: plan for now instead   
EB: so i was thinking that i could brush up on some of my old magic skills and maybe do that cheesy move where the magician hands someone a bouquet of flowers from his wand!   
AG: Oh my god.   
AG: Terezi, What do you think of that?   
GC: L4444M3  
EB: it is not lame.   
EB: if anything it's dorky.   
AG: It's 8oth.   
AG: Think of something 8etter.   
EB: i can't! i was sort hoping i could do that   
EB: i had everything planned out too!   
GC: 1 SORT4 W4NT TO KNOW YOUR PL4N   
AG: Let's hear it Eg8ert.   
EB: i was just sort of planning that the next dream bubble we pass through i'd take karkat to some dream memory of LOWAS and do that whole flower magic trick thingy and pretty much fucking stutter out my confession.   
AG: Hmmmmmmmm  
AG: It's cute.   
AG: Sort of.   
EB: sort of???   
AG: I 8elieve you can do soooooooo much 8etter.   
AG: Something other than a dumb magic trick and shit.   
AG: Something 8igger!   
GC: SOM3TH1NG B3TT3R!   
AG: Something 8older!   
EB: like what??   
AG: Like I tell Karkat a8out your pity towards him!   
EB: yeah that sounds great!   
EB: in crazy town.   
AG: Well you already agreed to it so........  
EB: i was kidding though!!   
AG: Too l8!!

What.

_What?_

EB: please tell me you're joking.    
EB: vriska PLEASE tell me you're joking!    
AG: ::::)    
EB: oh my god    
EB: oh god

No. No no no no. This wasn't happening. This was not happening. Vriska was lying. Vriska was trying to fool him. Vriska did not just tell Karkat.

arachnidsGrip[AG] posted a chat log between arachnidsGrip[AG] and carcinoGeneticist[CG] to memo on board H3LP JOHN STOP B31NG 4 W33N13

_Oh fuck._

John couldn't believe it but it was there. It was there in the cobalt and grey text. She told him. The Heir of Breath stood up quickly and left his laptop sitting on his alchemized bed. If he was right Vriska and Karkat were still talking and John would have at least _some_ time to do a confession of his own instead of being thrown into this who shebang forcefully. He still had a chance to save himself. The human quickly floated off the ground and tried to fly over to Karkat's room quickly. John was hitting nearly every corner on his way to his alien crush's room.

Now John was just there. Hovering an inch off the ground and a foot away from the door. He could hear Karkat angrily tapping on the letter keys of his crabtop from inside. A small smile threatened to appear on his face at the thought of the short troll looking so adorable. John's mind quickly went from Karkat being adorable to Karkat snuggling up in John's arms and watching a movie. Wow. John was gayer than planned. Of course none of John's little fantasies would come true if he _didn't go into Karkat's room._ With a deep breath and a determined look, John pushed the door opened and floated inside.

There he was. Target locked. Karkat looked up when John came in, his face was red with either anger or embarrassment or both. The troll grunted out a greeting and looked back at his screen.

"Can you fucking believe the bullshit Vriska is telling me?" Karkat stood up and turned the crabtop so John could see the screen which had blocks of grey text with little snippets of cobalt. Come on John, now or never. "What an ass--" The God of Breath cut off Karkat's sentence with a great big awkward but meaningful hug.

Yeah.

John supposed this was a good way to confess too.


	13. Chapter 13

Karkat had a headache. Too many things were happening to him today. First the stupid machine broke and he didn't have his morning coffee, then Kanaya used him as a model for a new dress she's making for Rose, now John was confessing his flushed feelings to Karkat. Today was...very eventful for the mutant blooded troll.

"Listen Karkat," John spoke and yanked Karkat right out of his jumbled up thoughts. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to be hearing this whole...confession from considering your previous hate-love crush on me and me turning you down and whatnot..." Right. Karkat had momentarily forgot about that. Suddenly the little pang of heartbreak and anger he felt back when John first rejected him was coming back. "...and you probably kind of platonically hate me over it and me saying I'm not a homosexual and all that but...fuck where was I going with this??" John looked genuinely distressed. And he was. He was forced to confess his feelings to Karkat thanks to a certain Thief and now he was jumbling up his words.

"John...I don't...I don't think we can be together." John looked up and blinked. The moment his heart tore in half was clearly visible on his face. Karkat felt bad. Fuck he felt bad. For perigees he wanted nothing more than to be with John and here he was, breaking the human's heart. And for what? Revenge? Fear of what may happen? Uncertainty? He didn't know. What he did know was that John was tearing up and it was his own fault. "John i, fuck. John I don't...I don't want to be in a relationship with you..." Oh god. John looked like someone had just stabbed him once in the chest. "I mean, I do. I really do, but you aren't right for me..." Twice. "And I don't think we would work out..." Three times.

"Oh...y-yeah, I get it." John's voice was cracking. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was doing his best to keep his little happy smile on his face. "I'll just..." John cleared his throat and stood up, keeping his eyes on the ground. "I'll..I'm going to go check on...yeah..." John's lip was quivering as he quickly walked away. The Heir didn't know where he was going, his eyes were blurry with tears. He didn't even see Vriska and Terezi ahead of him until he bumped into them and fell flat on his ass.

"Soooooooo...?" Vriska asked, a wide grin on her face. The tears streaming down John's cheeks weren't visible until he looked up at the two troll girls and sobbed out his answer.

"He...He rejected me!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A solid perigee went by since Karkat rejected John and neither of them were over it. Neither of them had spoken to each other since then too. Karkat was mainly locked in his respiteblock while John spent his time on the very roof of the meteor, looking up at the vast space above his head.

The Heir didn't know why he was rejected, all he knew was that Karkat wanted to be with him but he didn't believe they were right for one another. How could he not think they were right for one another if they hadn't even tried anything yet? That's what baffled John the most. Even with that, John wasn't mad. He was just...broken. He had _finally_ figured out his confusing sexuality and finally had the guts to confess his feelings to Karkat. He didn't know what made it all go downhill but something did. Maybe Karkat just felt angry about John first rejecting him? Would Karkat really just strike John down because of his feelings? John didn't know.

The Heir of Breath sighed and ran a hand through his black hair. If Karkat didn't want to date him, fine. Karkat was his own person and he could do whatever he wanted and if that meant Karkat would reject John then so be it. If it made Karkat happy John was happy too.

...

Fuck.

John had to know.

Groaning, he stood up and floated a good inch or two off the ground before going over to the transportalizer's platform and vanishing from the roof. He was going to regret this.

John appeared in the computer lab, which was basically abandoned now. He stepped off the platform and floated down the long halls. John didn't know what he would say to Karkat, he was just hoping that the words would flow out somehow. When the human reached his crush's room and pressed the button that opened up the door, he just stood silently in the doorway.

Karkat was there. He was sitting comfortably on a mini couch John had alchemized for him oh so long ago and his hands were holding onto his favorite romance novel tightly. The cancer troll was sitting there, staring up at John in shock and slight guilt. Fuck. It had been so long since John had last talked to Karkat he wanted nothing more than to hug him and ask if they were still friends. But no. John was here on business.

"Hi Karkat..." He mumbled as he closed the door and walked over to Karkat, sitting down. The troll grunted quietly in response to the greeting. "I uh...we need to talk." Another grunt. "I want to know...why you think we'd aren't good for each other." Silence this time. "...Karkat?" A long sigh was let out and Karkat began speaking.

"Listen John...I just...I know I probably shouldn't be saying this to you considering we were young and stupid and shit." John knew this was coming. And he was actually prepared for this. "I just...don't trust you? Or believe you more. There it was. "You fucked me over back during the game and I sort of never got over it and I'm probably a colossal bulge munching numb skull doing this but...yeah." John nodded. He knew how to respond to this.

"Yeah...I get it. But just hear me out okay?" Karkat sighed and nodded. "Remember when I said I was going through some weird human thing? When I was a huge douche bag and made fake plans with Vriska to get out of movie night? Well my human thing was that...fuck, this is going to sound like something out of a horribly cliche gay fanfiction but I thought I was straight until I met you." That sounded a lot better in John's head and he wished he could go back in time and slap his past self for saying that but he couldn't. Sadly, John wasn't a time player.

"Oh..." That was all Karkat said. Oh. John didn't know what that meant but he was sure it wasn't something too good.

"I'll explain. I'll explain my human thing, then it'll be our human thing! Even though what I'm going through-- went through probably won't matter to you because well...you're a troll and this isn't that much of a big deal to you guys...but I can still do it! If it makes you have at least some insight to the crap I had to deal with and why I was being a great big bag of dicks but...just give me a chance to explain everything again and then can you maybe rethink us not working out...?" John gave Karkat a hopeful little smile and the cancer troll pondered the offer.

On the one hand, John would explain and Karkat would understand. Maybe his previous lack of faith in the human would disappear. Maybe Karkat would agree to be John's matesprit. Maybe Karkat would be in a happy relationship. Maybe maybe maybe--

"Fine." Karkat nodded and shifted himself so he was facing John."Explain your...uh...our human thing." John smiled brightly and scooted closer to Karkat before he began explaining.


	14. Chapter 14

Karkat woke up and he had no idea where he was. He blinked, the crabtop in front of him was displaying the home menu of 50 First Dates. There was an arm around him. Oh, right. Slowly Karkat turned around to face the peacefully sleeping human that had an iron tight grip on Karkat's midsection. Last night's events suddenly started coming back. John explained his weird confusion on his human sexuality and that Karkat could trust him. Mr. "I'm Not A Homosexual" was replaced by Mr. "I'm Very Pansexual." and Karkat was okay with that.

So Karkat gave John a chance. He had to admit, he was a bit happy. He had been pining for John for so long and now he had John. And John actually felt the same way. Yes, they weren't in the pitch quadrant together but that didn't matter. Karkat never really felt pitch towards John. He never even held a grudge towards John over it. It was more that Karkat was...confused? Yeah. Confused. Karkat had always been served his helping of fuck you sundae and with an alien basically rejecting him...it sort of made him feel bad about himself.

Fuck. He sounded pathetic. Someone rejects him and he starts playing a sad song for himself on Alternia's tiniest music maker. In all honesty, he was hurt about it. First the Terezi thing happens and he's still having all kinds of fucked up feelings about Sollux and he has to play Lusus to a bunch of homicidal teenagers, being rejected by John was the icing on the shit cake at the time.

"G'morning..." Karkat blinked and returned his attention to the now awake human besides him. John yawned and with his free hand rubbed his eyes. His glasses were gone. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine," Karkat shrugged. "Considering I slept on the fucking couch and not my comfortable coon like a normal damn troll. I swear if I spend one more night lying unconsciously on a flat surface I will need a walking stick because sleeping like this is fucking up my posture pole." John chuckled and leaned up on his elbows, grinning like a giant goof. "I'm serious John. Someone will have to carry me into battle once our trip around the universe is through and we have to fight."

"I'm fairly certain that won't have to happen but if it does Kanaya will probably make one of those baby carrier things that parents strap onto their chest and will fight with you like that. I can totally see that happening." Karkat rolls his eyes and rolls off the couch, stretching.

"I'm going to go to the nutrition block, you have fun looking for your glasses, wherever the fuck they are." John nodded and sat up fully just as Karkat walked out.

This could work. This could definitely work. Karkat was beginning to feel a hell of a lot more confident about this. John said he had changed. John said he wasn't the thirteen year old he was then. John said he felt actual feelings for Karkat. This would work.

"Good morning Karkat." Karkat blinked and looked up to see Kanaya making some fresh tea, most likely for herself and Rose. He really needed to stop losing himself in thought. "You're up awfully early today." The cancer troll shrugged and walked over to the now beat up alchemizer.

"I passed out on the fucking couch in the common room. I can't see how humans can sleep on such flat surfaces without constantly waking up with back pains. They're uncomfortable as fuck and in all honesty I would rather have a twelve foot pole shoved up my waste chute than to sleep on that ever again." The Jade blood chuckled and poured the tea into two cups before setting them down at the table and sitting down.

"You seem excited. You're usually not this talkative this early in the morning." That's because he usually doesn't wake up besides his matesprit. "What has gotten into you? Did you manage to download an old movie? Maybe one you haven't seen? Or have you finally managed to figure out the password on Sollux's old husktop?" The cancer troll grabbed his mug and shoved it inside the alchemizer before closing it.

"Hah, yeah. You wouldn't believe it but his password is just the word password written in his quirk. For a genius he made one fatal mistake. I now have full access to all of his files." That earned Karkat another chuckle from Kanaya.

"Funny. But seriously, I'm curious to what put you in such a happy mood. You've been so down lately that I was worried that Mr. Mopey Pants had replaced Mr. Happy All The Motherfucking Time Pants. Luckily I was proven wrong and Mr. Happy All The Motherfucking Time Pants has returned."

"Yup. These sweatpants of mine are nothing but happy Kanaya. Joyous threads make up these sweats. Nothing but good times in this piece of clothing." The machine stopped and Karkat growled in frustration. Stupid machine.

"I still didn't get my answer. What put you in such a great mood?" The Knight of Blood shrugged and slapped the side of the machine. "Well there must've been _something._ " Speak of the devil. The something that was putting this perma-grumpy troll in a good mood walked on in. John, with a goofy grin on his face, walked over to Karkat, gave the machine one hip check and it instantly sprang to life. That dick.

"I got the machine working for you, do I get a reward?" Fucking hell. Karkat couldn't glance over at Kanaya. No, he wouldn't glance at her. He knew she had a smug grin on her face, he knew she would wiggle her eyebrows suggestively. Fucking John. "By reward I just want to clarify that I mean this." The Heir puckered his lips and tapped them with one finger.

"No. You just woke up and you have gross morning breath." John pouted and let out a defeated 'fiiine' before taking Karkat's mug of coffee out of the alchemizer. The troll mumbled a thank you to his chipper matesprit who very quickly kissed the troll's forehead.

The cancer troll sat down at the table and took a big gulp of coffee and looked over at his smirking moirail before hissing out. "Not. One. Word."


	15. Chapter 15

"Are you done yet?" John shook his head and continued running his hands through his boyfriend's hair. John had really gotten comfortable with the idea of dating a guy, he didn't seem as weirded out as he thought he would be which was good. Though it did sort of confused him why it took him so quick to get comfortable. The two of them had only been dating...what...two, three months? Yeah. It was hard keeping count of the days, weeks, months. But not like it mattered. They were happy together and because of that time just flew by.

"Hurry up and stop whatever the fuck you're doing already. I can't fucking concentrate with you touching my hair." Karkat on the other hand hadn't gotten used to the idea of dating. Yes he had his matesprits here and there but did those really count? He was never in such close contact with anyone. It was weird.

"Me loving you is distracting you?" The troll rolled his eyes. "Because if that's the case then I guess I'll just go..." John reluctantly pried himself away from Karkat, pouting like a small child who was just rejected candy. "I'll go back to my cold lonely room, all alone. By myself." Slowly the Heir floated up and began floating away. He threw pouty glances at Karkat who was just watching him leave. Once John officially left the room, Karkat turned his attention to his trashy romance novel.

"How rude. You just let me leave like that!" Aaaand John returned. He was floating not even an inch above the ground, his long blue hoodie was being dragged along the ground as he flew back to Karkat. "I'm offended Karkat. I thought our love was real." The cancer troll snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Oh please. Stop being such a wriggler about it. You can't _always_ have my attention and you know that." The human shrugged and pressed a quick little kiss to his boyfriend's cheek. For a moment they sat there just like that. John leaning on Karkat's shoulder and Karkat quietly reading his book. Nothing would ruin this moment for them. Nothing except--

"Heeeeeeeello losers!" Vriska's voice crackled over the meteor's intercom causing both boys to jump. "We're about to collide with another dream bubble so if you want to harass some of our dead friends or execute your lame plan to confess your already known feelings to Karkat, ahem John, I suggest you best get ready. Later chumps!" The intercom crackled then went silent. Karkat turned to John who was currently attempting to avoid eye contact with Karkat.

"You had something planned?" The Heir nodded slowly, obviously embarrassed. John had planned something. John had gone through the trouble of actually planning something for Karkat. John had planned something for Karkat. Why hadn't he used that plan instead of just blurting out his feelings? Oh, right. Vriska. "Well?" John raised an eyebrow. "You heard the bitch, go get fucking ready to re-confess your flushed feelings for me." The Heir of Breath grinned a little and pressed a quick kiss to Karkat's cheek before standing up and stumbling out the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I swear I won't let you fall!" John reassured Karkat who was messing with the blindfold his matesprit had put on him. He trusted John, he knew he wouldn't let him fall. He just didn't trust the floor, or the ghosts, or the things on the ground. Karkat's hands swatted the air around him until he finally felt John's shirt and held onto it tightly. He was just making sure.

John was excited. He had everything planned out perfectly. And after exposing his little situation, John had managed to persuade an army of dead Dave's to clear out the area he was about to use. The human didn't stop there, no, he had quickly alchemized himself a shitty wand that would do exactly what he wanted. He had an extra little something planned out but he hadn't exactly practiced that yet... Ah well. He would just have to hope for the best. John led Karkat down a road he had taken such a long time ago. LOWAS was really beautiful and he hoped Karkat found it a suitable place to re-confess his feelings.

Finally after what seemed like ages of walking, John stopped on a little hill that over looked a nice river. He carefully removed the blindfold from his boyfriends face and tucked it away in the pocket of his godtier outfit. "Okay, here goes nothing." John took a shaky breath and pulled out a black and white magician's wand. Karkat looked at it and raised an eyebrow. This was going to be interesting. With a quick flick of his wrist, John made a beautiful bouquet of red and blue flowers appear out of the tip of the wand. Of course Karkat smiled at the flowers and held onto them tightly when John handed them over.

"Okay, now for part two." John took one of Karkat's hands in his and inched closer, taking in another shaky breath. "I think that possibly maybe I've fallen for you. Yeah, there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you. I just...I can't explain it. You make me feel so fluttery and warm. Like I'm walking on air, and as an Heir of Breath, that's saying something." John and Karkat chuckled, Karkat scooting closer. "I know I was a grade A dick back when I rejected your hate-love advances at me and I know I said things that probably screwed you over but I really really _really_ like you. Would you be willing to give me a chance to be your weird alien red quadrant date mate?" By now Karkat was grinning like a goof and John was living it. The human wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist and in return his boyfriend threw his arms around John's shoulders.

"Fuck yes I would." John's own smile widened as Karkat mumbled those four little words and he happily leaned in to share a sweet kiss with his matesprit.


	16. Chapter 16

John's leg was bouncing. It was bouncing so much that Vriska was complaining about it and they weren't even sitting at the same table. He was nervous. Their time was almost up. John would have to tell them soon. John would have to do it. He couldn't do it. John could just lie. John could just--

"You know I hate seeing you like this..." John blinked and looked over at his matesprit. Karkat was worried, though his permanent scowl didn't exactly show it. The Heir of Breath gave Karkat a tentative smile, his hand reaching over to grab the other's grey one.

"I'm fine, really. I'm just...nervous is all." John shrugged. So much time had gone by. So much time John wasted. So much time John could've spent planning on telling Dave and Jade that he was less than straight were instead spent on things like snuggling up with Karkat to watch a movie of making a nice alchemized meal for the two of the to share or some other romantic thing John came up with. Well...okay probably not wasted. He could've prioritized. He could've planned more. He could've don't more. John gave Karkat another small smile and was soon pulled away from his seat at a desk in the common room to the computer lab. Uh oh. John knew that look. Karkat was pissed.

The troll quietly dragged John out of the computer lab and down the hall. He wanted to ask Karkat where they were going but he knew the shorter male would just respond with something sarcastic. After a moment of silent walking the two ended up in front of Kanaya's room. John was confused, and it was clear on his face as Karkat let go of him and stood in front of the door, crossing his arms.

"...What are we doing here?" The Heir of Breath quickly glanced at the door again before returning his attention to Karkat. John had to admit, he was slightly scared to what Karkat had planned.

"Remember when you told me how human children sometimes have babysitters?" John nodded slowly. "Well for today, Kanaya is your babysitter." Wait, what? John began to protest but Karkat just pressed the respiteblock's button and gently pushed his matesprit in. "I'll come back in a few hours." The troll stood up on his tip toes to press a gentle kiss to John's nose before the door closed and John was left alone in the room with Kanaya. The human sighed, having absolutely no fucking clue what the hell just happened.

"Hello John." Kanaya spoke from him behind him and he turned around and gave her a half hearted wave. "Karkat told me I had to watch over you while he prepares something extravagant to ease your nerves. So you're going to help me with some sewing." He had no say in this. John had pretty much no say in this so he just shrugged and flopped down in the pillow pile.

"I don't need a babysitter." Kanaya stood up and walked over to her closet that had more fabrics than clothes. Her skin was no longer glowing, it was weird seeing her with regular grey troll skin.

"I know you don't, but Karkat feels like you do. I can see why though, he's pretty worried about you." John frowned. He hadn't meant to make Karkat so worried about him, he tried to hide his nerves but obviously he hadn't hid them well enough. "Would you like to talk about what's going on in that funny little thinkpan of yours?" John chewed his lower lip and nodded hesitantly.

"But...can you bring Rose in too? She kind of knows what will...she has a better understanding of this." Kanaya nodded and immediately went to send a quick message to her matesprit. Within five minutes the Seer of Light was walking into the room, pressing a little hello kiss to the rainbow drinker's cheek.

"I hear you requested me. You know at this rate I might as well be an actual therapist what with you and Karkat constantly pulling me around like a rag doll for your problems." John rolled his eyes and scooted to make some room for Rose to sit besides her girlfriend. "So, what is it that's troubling you? Whatever it is it's gotten Karkat pretty worried."

"It's just...we're almost to wherever we're supposed to be and soon we'll be reunited with our friends and..." John let out a long sigh, running a hand through his hair. "I just...I don't want Dave to...I'm scared to tell Dave. Yes I know he probably won't give two craps but it still...makes me nervous..." Rose nodded and thought for a moment before speaking.

"Well...try to think of the brightside of things. You'll have Karkat by your side. And you know if Dave ever even utters one negative word to you of the thing you're most sensitive of he'll swoop down and give Dave a nice rough word fucking." The blue eyed boy giggled at Rose's comment. "And remember that Dave is your best bro, who isn't exactly straight either. He'll accept you. You'll be fine." John nodded. Yeah. Dave would be fine with it. Hell Dave would probably tease him about how John lives Karkat more than his best bro.

A few hours passed by filled with Kanaya using John as a living mannequin. By the time the Jade blood finished making her newest dress Rose told John that Karkat was expecting him in the empty room besides the common room. John bid Rose and Kanaya farewell before heading off to where his boyfriend was. He was curious what Karkat had been doing this entire time. His curiosity only pushed him to quickly fly to the door that closed off the room he was expected it.

Once the Heir of Breath opened the door his jaw dropped. It was...breathtaking. Karkat had created something John had dreamt of. All around the room little fairy lights were hung up giving the room a nice comfortable, cozy sort of feeling. In the middle a gigantic blanket fort was built in front of the crabtop, the screen of it displaying 50 First Dates. Pillows and blankets were seen peeking out from the front of the fort and an intoxicatingly delicious smell of buttery popcorn filled the air. Karkat was sitting in the fort, only in his boxers and loose fitting T-shirt with his sign printed on it. A gift from Kanaya.

"Well?" Karkat raised his eyebrows at John who was still staring slack-jawed at the whole thing. He couldn't believe it. Karkat smirked a little and leaned back on his hands. "Take a picture it'll last longer." The human rolled his eyes and toed off his shoes. The troll tossed a shirt at John, it was identical to his old white one he used to always wear.

"You made this all for me?" John pulled off his pants and his shirt, replacing it with his white one. Karkat replied with a smug sounding 'mhmm' as John neatly folded his god tier uniform. "Why though...?" The human quickly crawled besides his matesprit who instantly leaned against his shoulder.

"Because I fucking love you idiot." John grinned and Karkat returned the favor. God John loved his smile.

"I love you too." He leaned in a pressed a loving kiss to his matesprit. God he loved this alien.


	17. Chapter 17

Today was the day. This was it. Today was the day. John was nervous. Today was the day. Karkat kept pressing reassuring kisses to John's cheeks and mumbling comforting things to him. Today was the day. John's head was resting on top of Karkat's chest, listening to the soothing sound of his heartbeat. _Today was the day._

"John?" John looked up at his matesprit. Two candy red eyes were looking down at him and _fuck_ did John love this troll. "Are you still nervous?" He nodded his head slowly. He didn't want to be nervous, it was just happening. He hated it. Dave was his friend. Jade was his sister. They would accept him. They love him. They're his friends. Karkat pressed a kiss to John's forehead. "I'm here for you. And I swear to every single fucking horror-terror out there that if one of those fuckers says a single fucking thing about you they will need to live up because I will give them the most intense word fucking that they've ever received." John giggled and sat up, now facing Karkat.

"Oh my god, please don't give me any weird mental images of you fucking my best bro Karkat. I don't want to have those kinds of graphic things in my head." The troll made a disgusted face which made John laugh.

"Eugh, as if I would ever fuck such a self-righteous windbag. I can do so much better. Hell, I would rather fuck an actual bag filled with cacti and swords than him." John laughed more and Karkat smiled. The troll got his nervous matesprit to laugh and relax a bit. That was one small victory.

"Good. I already have to deal with seeing several dead versions of you sucking face with other ghosts, Dave included in some of those! God it's so weird seeing _my_ boyfriend making out with someone else." Karkat rolled his eyes but didn't stop the smile that began forming on his face.

"What, do you get jealous that one of my dead selves is shoving their tongue fuck deep into Dave's mouth?" The troll smirked. It was nice knowing John actually got jealous that his matesprit got slightly jealous at what some completely different version of himself did. It made him feel...a bit wanted. A bit more loved. It made him feel special in a way.

"Get a room you two!" Terezi shouted at the two mushy goobers that were sitting less than an inch apart from each other. The two didn't seem to hear her, or more acknowledge her, because they leaned in and shared a sweet little kiss. If Terezi had a camera she'd be snapping pictures of this cute display.

Time passed and the giant golden ship that Jade had hijacked appeared in the sky above them. Both Jade and Dave flew down followed by Jane and Roxy. The very second John saw his childhood best friend he smiled widely and flew up into the air. The two stared at each other for a moment in disbelief beige John flew over to Dave and tackled him down within the blink of an eye. Karkat sighed and stood up, walking over to the two dorks that were already talking as if they'd seen each other just yesterday. The troll quietly flopped down next to his matesprit and half listened to what they had to say. Karkat wanted to give John and Dave a little moment alone. After what seemed like hours of talk of pure nonsense, John finally noticed Karkat was there and brought him up to Dave.

"Oh, uh, Dave." John's fingers were annoyingly tapping the ground. Dave glanced at John, then his fingers, and when John motioned to Karkat he glanced at him too. The troll subtly moved one hand to go soothingly rub small circles into John's back, just to relax him a little. It worked. "This...is Karkat. Well you already knew him from before with the whole Terezi thing but...yeah." Dave raised an eyebrow at the unusually silent troll who just seemed to be staring him down.

"For some reason I remember him as always shouting and shit. Did he like lose his voice or something on your little detour trip through space?" John glanced at Karkat, who was actually fighting to keep his words down as long as possible for John's sake. He didn't want to ruin it. It was probably best if John stepped in now.

"Hah, no...that's not it. He's just being nice. He doesn't exactly want to scream at my best pal whom I haven't seen in forever." Okay, now might be a good time to say something, anything, about Karkat and his relationship. God but what. John could ruffle his hair but that would seem way too friendly. John could boop his matesprit's cute little button nose but that also seemed too friendly. Fuck, he was running out of time. Without thinking, John quickly leaned down and pressed a sweet kiss to Karkat's lips. Of course Karkat wasn't expecting that so the troll sort of pushed his boyfriend away. Real smooth.

"Ugh, John next time you want to fucking kiss me give me a warning. You nearly bit off my lip and got your gross slobber all over me." John laughed nervously and wiped his spit off of Karkat. That didn't go as planned and now he would refuse to look at Dave. Fuck, his face felt warm. Dave was probably laughing, oh god this was embarrassing.

"Dude you need serious kissing help. Do what I did and take an online class, kissing one-oh-one. Professor's great. Do lip ups, make those suckers nice and prepped for the next time you want to have sloppy interspecies make outs." Dave commented, trying to make John a little less embarrassed. Oh god. This only made it worse for some reason.

"Hey, when numb skulls are done doing whatever boring thing you're doing maybe you could pay attention to our meeting!" Oh good a distraction. John kept his eyes glued to the thief of light as she explained their battle plan, his hand unconsciously sliding into Karkat's.

She explained that everyone would be broken up into groups. Groups that she already chose. Kanaya and Karkat had some sort of secret mission. John had to go off to fight the Condescension. Karkat and John anxiously looked at each other. They both were thinking the exact same thing. The teams broke apart to go gather their weapons, John refusing to even let Karkat go to his respiteblock by himself. He had a small amount of time with him and he was going to spend every second with his boyfriend.

When it came time for everyone to depart, John was less than happy to let go of Karkat. Karkat wasn't about to let go of John either, he was scared for him. If John got hurt he didn't know what he'd do with himself. This was the first successful flushed relationship he's had and fuck, John was his love. It would destroy him if John died.

After a long while, John finally let go of Karkat's hand and pressed a kiss to his forehead before Jade grabbed both Karkat and Kanaya's hands and flew off. The last thing Karkat saw before heading off into deep space was John standing there in his bright blue Godtier outfit, his giant hammer slung over his shoulder.


	18. Chapter 18

Karkat didn't remember much. He and Kanaya were talking after talking to a giant worm goddess then BAM. He gets knocked out cold by his own moirail. He had to admit, it could've been worse. He could've been knocked out cold and landed face first on the ground besides lava that was ever so slowly oozing down the ground besides him. Oh wait, that's exactly what was happening. Of course Kanaya would be too caught up with the battle and the matriorb and everything else to bother to pay attention to the land around her. She was just lucky that the lava wasn't fast moving or else he would've been a cooked crab by now.

The troll rubbed the spot his moirail had hit him, hissing quietly in pain. Fuck, she was strong for someone who had the body of a flimsy ballet dancer. After taking a moment to get the pain to die down to a slight throb, Karkat stood up and instantly began looking for a way off of Jade's planet. Sadly there was next to way he would get off. Unless there was a sudden explosion and his god tier slab was underneath his feet, the cancer troll was stuck here.

He sighed and sat on a log, looking up at the sky. His mind began to wonder to thoughts of John. Was he okay? Was he hurt? Was he already back on the meteor, waiting for Karkat to go back to him? Was John still fighting the Empress? Was he waving his giant silly hammer around and throwing whirl wind after whirl wind at her? These thoughts only made the Knight of Blood's nerves flare up. What if John was hurt? What if he got fatally injured while fighting? He would die heroically and therefore it would be a perma-death. What if--

The air around Karkat suddenly became thick with electricity. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. The hummingbirds suddenly stopped humming, the area around him went dead silent. Slowly, Karkat took his sickles out of his sylladex and mentally prepped himself for whatever was about to happen next. Nothing happened, yet everything was still silent and on edge.

The troll took a deep breath and stood up. He'd be fine. He had spent most of his adolescent life fighting for his life. He learned how to use his sickles before he learned how to properly talk. He would be fine. He would be fine. He would be fine. Karkat kept repeating that to himself as he took small steps away from the log. His whole was body was tense, he was on edge. Fuck. Fuck. Karkat was starting to lose his nerves. Fuck. Fuck.

And then, in just the blink of an eye, it happened. A zap of green blinded Karkat, a second passed, and he was suddenly clutching his midsection. Tears of pain began forming at the corners of his eyes as he hugged his wounded stomach and hoping that doing that would stop the flowing blood. Standing in front of the troll was a dog. A dog with wings. A dog with wings and a sword. Fuck. Karkat stumbled back and tried to look as menacing as possible but the dog didn't seem to care. He stepped closer to the bleeding troll and raised his sword, a snarl escaping him. _Fuck._

The dog's head snapped up and Karkat followed his gaze. Another dog, a white dog identical to this dog, was angrily flying down. Karkat noticed the look of slight fear that passed across the black dog's face. The dog in front of him returned the sword he held to it's place in his midsection and he extended his wings. Oh fuck no. 

Karkat reached out to grab the deadly dog by it's arm, wing, anything, and hold it back at least a second. Karkat grabbed his hand just as the same green electricity engulfed them. Suddenly Karkat was back on the giant metal lily pad and on the ground, blood still oozing from his wound. The dog growled at Karkat and disappeared in yet another cloud of green electricity. 

It was at that moment that Karkat realized how much pain he was in. The adrenaline from before had worn off and _fuck this hurt._ He arched his back and let out a sob of pain, his red tinted tears already streaming down his cheeks. He could taste blood in his mouth.

A dull thud was heard a few feet away from him and Karkat didn't look over. Fuck his body hurt. Fuck this hurt. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The smell of blood was getting to him, he felt as if he was about to pass out at any moment. Maybe from blood loss, maybe from the smell. A small sob was heard and this time Karkat turned his head.

It was a blur of blue, yellow, and red but Karkat knew who it was. With one last surge of adrenaline, Karkat lifted himself up on to shaky arms. He could do this, he had to do this. It hurt to move. It hurt to breath. It hurt and Karkat wanted to stop but he couldn't. John was over there. Karkat had to be with him. John was there. Karkat would do it for John. 

"Hi again dumbass." Karkat croaked out as he finally made it within a foot of his bleeding matesprit. John let out a strangled laugh that mixed in with a laugh and slowly turned around. Tears were streaming down his face and mixing with the blood he had splattered across his cheeks. A smile was plastered on his face, though it wasn't the happy smile Karkat had fallen in love with. 

"Hi Karkat." Karkat smiled. He could feel his body start to relax. No. He had to hold on a bit more. Karkat raised a hand to John's cheek and tried to wipe off the blood. He only smeared it. 

"Red isn't a good color on you, you know." John let out a weak laugh and attempted to scoot closer to his boyfriend but that only made the holes in his stomach and chest to sting. Karkat was the brave one here and he scooted closer, his body was already numb. The troll wrapped shaky arms around John and buried his face in John's black hair. It smelled like mint and cake which was considering John hadn't had either of those things in so long.

"Karkat...I'm happy you know..." Karkat was struggling to catch his breath, fuck, when did living become so hard? 

"I'm happy too John." The human looked at his boyfriend. He could see the light leaving his eyes. Karkat was dying and John couldn't do anything. John was dying and Karkat couldn't doing anything. 

"Karkat...?" Karkat closed his eyes. John sounded so far away. Karkat felt like his matesprit was disappearing into thin air in his arms and he didn't know why. The troll could only let out a grunt in response, he didn't have enough energy to make words anymore. "I love you."

Silence.

John felt the body besides him go limp and he choked out a sob. He was gone. John's own energy was quickly depleting. This didn't feel like when he first died. It didn't feel like being pushed deep underwater only to know he'd be pulled back up a second later. This felt like sleeping. John felt like he was about to fall into a deep sleep. John was falling asleep. He was falling asleep fast. 

The human had his hands covered in blood and with those blood covered hands he drew a shaky heart. One on Karkat's cheek, one on his cheek. He smiled weakly at his work. 

"I love you." John closed his eyes and let out a shaky sigh before falling into his deep sleep.


End file.
